Dating predicaments

[M4F] Looking for sex positive conversations or questions!

2020.10.27 02:28 thrwawyboytoy [M4F] Looking for sex positive conversations or questions!

I’m stuck in bed for a couple days and love to talk about anything sex positive and fun. Let’s talk about:
-Tell me about someone you’re infatuated with. Maybe it’s a passing fancy and you saw someone on the bus who did something cute and you didn’t get a chance to talk to them and tell them how it made your day. Maybe you have known someone for a long time as friends, but you don’t know how to tell them you care for them as more than friends.
-Trade honest, but kind advice:
Maybe you’re nervous to talk about sex, or not comfortable, but would like to get better at it. Maybe you want advice about someone you’re sleeping with or seeing. Maybe you need some help getting around the more NSFW parts of Reddit and want someone who is familiar with it.
Personally, I could use advice too! I’ve been dealing with a fairly low incidence diagnosis called Peyronie’s that affects my genitals and causes curvature. Being single in a pandemic is tough and dating apps are certainly outplayed in my book.
-Let’s talk about more serious things like the following that I have experience with:
My journey from being straight to being bicurious and how much having a supportive community with the ability to explore comfortably, helps move that process forward. Building trust in a relationship to make things like bondage safe and comfortable for everyone involved. The nuances of feelings when having group sex or in group relationships. Large age gaps in relationships and when/how is it sustainable?
-Tell me a story you’ve been wanting to get off your chest, but can only tell a stranger. Choose a kink level (1-5) from romantic and vanilla, to wild and kinky and I’ll tell you a story about sex that I’ve had.
-Even open to a good healthy role play about being quarantine roommates or an ex who has sex with someone else and makes me/you watch.
Quarantine roommates would involve two single people stuck in an apartment together. They both just broke up with their SO recently and at quite honestly a horrible time. Frustration and irritation are at an all time high (you know how messy roommates can be). Maybe there’s disciplining involved, or a true connection forged because you’re both so starved for attention when you’d never been interested in spending time with your roommate before.
Degrading and making your ex watch while you have sex with a new partner, or being the one who can’t look away when you accidentally come upon your ex at a sex club, but they won’t allow you to interact. Only watch.
A nice back and forth if you have a healthy imagination and good grammar is a yes for me, so I’m open to more scenarios!
-Fetishes you want to explore more. I’m interested in (in no particular order):
tail plugs, gentle femdom, pegging, threesomes, rope play, exhibitionism, ddlg, predicament bondage, futanari, fantasy erotica, s&m dynamics, anal, etc. I’ll try anything twice myself, so don’t hesitate to bring something up!
All I ask is mutual respect and you can send me a message. Let’s talk :)
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2020.10.27 00:07 obviousthree Scheduling help :(

I'm lowkey panicking right now because I think I messed up my next few semesters :( If anyone can help with my predicament I'll be forever grateful!!
So the thing is I'm currently a sophomore. I have to take BIO 204, BIO205, and BIO 365 all by the end of my junior year. Due to schedule conflicts, I had to remove BIO204 for fall this semester and take orgo 1 instead. But now I realized BIO205/207 isn't offered in the summer nor in the fall so I'd have to take it spring of my junior year. As it is a prereq for biochem lab, I can't take BIO205/207 at the same time as BIO365 and I really can't afford to spend another year (not even one semester) of undergrad in stony. Please help I don't know what to do
P.S. I did schedule an appointment through navigate for help with this but the appointment is after my enrollment date and I wanted to ask your beautiful brains for help
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2020.10.26 22:18 somesortamanguy My friend's longtime friend and crush wants me after seeing me once

The whole story is in the title but I should elaborate. I won't give names but it basically all is about me (M20), my friend W(M20), and his friend S(F24). I'm in mobile and this is my first post on Reddit as a whole.
Okay, so for some background on myself since that's what it boils to mostly, I don't have the greatest outlook on romantic relationships because my second relationship when I was 15 to 18 was an emotionally manipulative and abusive one that has left me jaded to being loved, especially since it ended because of her cheating. It's been 3 years since then and I've been in 5 relationships since then, all comfortable, two of them especially good, but that's not necessary for the story. I just needed to put some context to my predicament.
So W has known S since they were young, long before I even knew him since I met him in sophomore year. He has had a crush on her for a long time apparently. He and I have been hanging out more recently since we retained contact after he moved back and still do, safely because of all that's going on now. He has many friends we haven't met, but that's fine, it's natural and understandable. The problem lies in how they react when they've seen me on his Instagram.
I would say I'm of average attractiveness, I've been in a few relationships after all, but the girls he's been friends with for a long time have often said how I'm cute and have expressed interest in me for a relationship. This eventually cumulated in S seeing me and soon after getting my number from W to contact me. He has told me how often they hang out, but also that she wants to start a relationship with me, even knowing how feelings for her. I will say that it's a big ego boost to be seen as attractive by someone I find attractive, and she is a pretty cool girl from how we've texted.
Things came to a head, in my eyes, when she also told me how she had feelings for HIM, but apparently not enough for a relationship. They have also even had what he thought was a date, but I came to find out from him that she wanted me there on their "date", as she had wanted a date with me instead, while hanging out with W. They have talked about their feelings, but she still wants to start a relationship with me, even when she hangs out with him.
I am not still wrapped up in the reservations that my abuse had kept me down for 3 years and think I'm ready for a relationship, but am not sure what to do in this situation where the longtime crush of a good friend instead wants me and has been V E R Y forward with the desire to go on a date with me while we hang out with W. I have been mulling over what I should do for months now and W has given me permission to date her, saying that he wouldn't be hurt, but now it's mostly become me being still apprehensive about getting into a relationship. I asked my friend (and one of my exes, as I'm still best friends with her) and she suggested that I ask Reddit for advice.
TL:DR My friend has a crush that wants a relationship with me, but I'm wary about relationships because of past trauma and don't know what to do.
Edit: W and I have talked a lot about this situation and he has told me he'd be okay with it. The problem for me lies in not know how to be in a relationship with such an awkward circumstance and not being sure if I'm worth the baggage I have.
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2020.10.26 20:48 throwRAheheuwo9 I'm (21f) really struggling to overcome past issues and my partner's (33m) clinginess

Hi. I'm obviously looking for advice so I'll cut to the chase about the full situation.
I'm in a bit of a predicament in that I think I'm holding past resentments against my partner and I'm not sure if I'm being a bit of an ass about it.
Me and my partner have been together since I was 18, worked together for about 6 months before that and slept together a few days after my 18th birthday. We worked together for a while which brought it's own issues. He'd accuse me of cheating and ring me loads while I was at work without him- he literally once rang me fifteen times in five minutes at 11pm because I was taking longer than usual to close up the kitchen to the point he ended up ringing the store and one of the other managers said hed heard my phone going bonkers and had picked it up to him. He once shouted across the work kitchen that I was too busy blowing my driving instructor because I was five minutes late to my shift which CLEARLY wasnt true and other team members heard it. He had big issues with holding hands, kissing in public and disclosing that we were actually in a relationship after this.
Hes improved significantly now and weve lived together for just over two years. Hes financially irresponsible (has a CCJ on his record and took out a 1k loan that its costing 2k to pay back because 'we were struggling to pay for bills' whilst I was working two jobs), I only recently managed to UK into write down the outgoing Bill's so I could see where my money was going and I dont understand how he doesnt manage so I dont know if I'm being insensitive- I give him £500 a month, which leaves me with ~£600 to pay for my car and dog (I'm in a lower paying job). He earns around £1600 a month on top of the money I give him and genuinely has no savings as far as I'm aware. Hes been working from home since march and I dont know how I begin to repair our relationship from this. When we first started going out we agreed that if we lived together we'd give each other space when we could because we both needed alone time.
I have not had ANY time away from him since march. Not a single day. Its driving me insane because I constantly mask in front of people because of my mental illnesses and I cant turn it off so its been exhausting to me. I've resorted back to SH and if I want time alone I have to go out. If I do go out, he calls me every few hours and texts me about that often too. Now where I'm wondering if I might be in the wrong is that I often dont reply or answer because I just want time away from him because I feel like my head might explode. I think the need to do so devolves from me ending up in hospital from an attempt and not answering my phone or texts which is why I think this might be an asshole move, as it could be trauma based so I'm not sure how to approach it again as I've asked him to stop quite frequently.
Another thing is that now that I'm 21 it's sort of hit me how gross him dating me from 18 feels to me. We havent been intimate since the literal start of the year because I dont feel like I can really discuss this without the conversation either getting a. Heated or b. Making me out to be an arse for judging him
Obviously this could be pretty biased as it's my perspective so i'm truly not sure if our relationship is repairable or not and I'm looking for advice from people who've been in similar situations. I just feel absolutely trapped at the moment with no way out and need some advice from anyone.
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2020.10.26 19:32 ThisIsEris Just my luck

Just my luck
So during my attempt of practicing on Turkey I got myself into this predicament, the date is March 26th 1940. Axis (Only Italy and Germany) is fighting the Comintern and Allies.. and communist UK is guaranteeing the Greeks. How can I possibly turn this even around?
https://preview.redd.it/lei8p60cghv51.png?width=1220&format=png&auto=webp&s=b59be50697a69d50e1396dc52fd84e85c77a2f99
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2020.10.26 18:23 whatigot989 Looking to propose in Yellowstone this winter

Hi y’all. I’m currently in a little predicament and was told you all could help. I’ve been dating my current girlfriend for nine years and was planning on proposing this winter on Lake Louise in Alberta. With current travel restrictions, it doesn’t look like I’m going to be able to make that happen. She has a mild obsession with beautiful winter views, and I figured Yellowstone would have plenty of them. I just can’t figure out which is best and how to get both of us and a photographer there at the same time. Does anybody have any advice on: the best view, where to stay, how to get there, etc.? She doesn’t want to have a big wedding so I wanted to do something special, despite COVID ruining my initial plans.
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2020.10.26 18:21 DonalbusTrumbledore My friend is dating a client of mine, and I’m wondering if I should keep on living here or leave.

So one of my best friends has a tiny house that I’m renting on her property. She on the day I signed the lease and gave her the money to live here told me she was dating a mutual friend of ours. A client of mine at my job.
My job is lending money to people, and this guy... is one of my top 5 clients... having racked up a staggering mid 5 digit debt to us over the past 2 years. I honestly don’t think he’s told her about this as he said he knew me by a different avenue of my job duties. Which is somewhat true but he doesn’t involve himself with that side of the business too often.
Generally the people I deal with are addicts to drugs or gambling (druggies always do tiny amounts and don’t come back, gamblers always take the most and come back often), just need a little cushion money for a few days (generally never take more than 50$), or just want to have a little fun for a short time (1 time a year 300$), or bill payers (take exact amounts). He takes the most he can but he could easily not gamble.
My friend for lack of a better word is kind of a dingus, very oblivious and generally forgets/ doesn’t pay attention to things, she’s easily entertained and it’s one of the many things I love about her. But she is extremely good with money and is extremely hard working and self-sufficient. I don’t want her to be roped into his shit AT ALL.
I can’t tell her about him as lending is confidential business between the parties involved (him and I). But I can’t confront him about it either as he can easily turn it against me and get her on his side as they are dating/ file a report to my employer saying that I am abusing personal information.
He has shown some manipulative behaviors and has in our poor judgment coerced my coworkers and I to give him extra money due to his history with the company I work for. It may just be me though.
So my predicament is I could stay here, with a potential bomb to go off while being fully aware of this bomb and it’s potential for destruction. Or I could leave. It’s a cheap place to stay with a washedryer included and plenty of storage for a third of the cost all the while being in a fantastic spot in town, but I wouldn’t be in the middle of this shit.
Me leaving would cause her to wonder why, and I don’t have a good reason to leave that I can tell her in confidence and it might be our friendship. Me staying might cost our friendship since I know of his bullshit and didn’t tell her, my job if I slip up and say something I am not supposed to.
I can’t hang out with her because I’m afraid of being the catalyst to an onslaught of shit. At the same time I don’t think it’s too serious right now but can get more so down the line. I don’t know what to do. So what do you think I should do in this predicament?
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2020.10.26 18:18 REL84 Did I end things too soon? (RE: myself and a man who are both in our mid-upper 30's)

This is so incredibly long and I realize will likely deter most people from reading it. But if there's anyone out there who's willing to hear my story and its details, I would really appreciate some feedback. Bc there were so many odd subtleties in my predicament, I felt many of these annoying details were important. So here goes - I dated a man who lived an hour away in a different city and state for about 5-6 weeks recently. We met on an online dating app. He was never a big texter, which I appreciated at first, bc I don't like when men smother me with texts early on. He has a very busy and pretty prestigious career in the healthcare field. I am also in the healthcare field so I know how busy one can be. While I don't like too much texting, I did find his texting a little too infrequent for my taste, esp since we live an hour away from each other, and I was worried about momentum. He always made the reservations, made sure to know if I wanted to sit outside or not (bc it's getting cold yet we were trying to be careful bc of COVID), always ordered whatever I wanted if we shared, offered me the best or first of anything over himself, etc. All his behaviors seemed to be that of a mature considerate man. We had a fantastic first date and he texted me the next day to pay me back for the uber we shared (we went to separate locations). He then was quiet for 3 days and asked me out on Wednesday for the following Saturday. This pattern continued for a few weeks. We would see each other on Saturdays and then he would reach out again on Wednesday to plan the next Saturday. The first date was 6 hours long, the second date was about 4-5 hours (seemed nervous to kiss me so I gave him a light kiss when we said goodbye), and the third date was 12 hours. We met in the afternoon and continued through the rest of the day and he invited me to meet up with some of his friends that evening and had a wonderful time. His friends seemed very enthusiastic and actually asked me "so do you usually have 12 hours dates?" in a warm humored way, as if to say "wow, you guys really hit it off". I caught one of them taking a picture of us sitting together and he texted it to my date. I wasn't sure if this was something cute bc he was excited for my date or if it was something else - like did he send it to all their buddies on their group text as some sort of a "hey guys, look at this hot chick our buddy bagged". These guys are quite active on their "bro chain" as they call it. I only say this, not bc I'm conceited, but bc he made it pretty clear he wasn't used to dating someone who "looked like me".
He seemed shy and very sweet, and down to earth but on our third date we ended up having to crash at his friend's place bc we couldn't get an uber. We stayed on his friends futon and the moment his friend went to bed, the man I was dating jumped on me. We had a heavy making out on and off for a few hours. Now, so much of it was super hot and I was really feeling it. But he was incredibly aggressive, so much so that he actually hurt me a few times - bit me too hard, sucked on my tongue so hard it hurt and actually made a popping sound lol, "nibbled" my ear so hard my ear piercings hurt for days. He went for my pants and I told him, gently, to stop. It was only the third date and there was no way, at our ages (in our mid-upper 30's) that I was going to have sex with him on his friend's futon 10 feet away from where his friend was sleeping. It just felt icky and sort of immature. When I told him no he said "I'm just having some fun" (he had had quite a bit to drink that night). Another thing that struck me was that I was fading at one point and I think I fell asleep bc all of a sudden I was aware again and he was touching me and making out with me. I think he may have been doing this while I was asleep??? But it was hard to say bc I was in a fog. He kept saying over and over "omg you are so hot. You are so hot". I noticed that when he touched me over my pants he was very rough - rapid hard rubbing back and forth and it almost hurt. It brought me back to make out sessions with inexperienced guys in high school or college. Regardless, I found most of it really really hot and i was even more attracted to him.
So the next AM I left his friend's place by an uber that my guy called for me. I texted him to let him know I got home ok and didn't hear back for a few hours. I think he had gone back to sleep. He wrote me back something brief but nothing about the previous night. I got the feeling he may not have so much experience and can be shy and was worried he felt rejected and I also needed to make sure we were on the same page bc, again, it felt a little tacky to try to have sex with me in his friend's living room in a very small apartment on the third date and it just didn't seem to align with the impression he gives off. At this point, I was very unsure of whether he really liked me and was a shy guy or if he really was just looking for fun. I had a hard time getting a read on this guy bc of his shyness and the fact that we had a great time and convo on our dates, shared the same values about religion, politics, practicing medicine, and he had very deep ideas about these topics etc. But there was very little communication between dates and the communication we did have felt unenthusiastic on his end. Anyway, I wrote him a couple days later and said I had a great time the previous weekend and that I wanted to make sure he didn't feel rejected sexually. I said it was very hot (which it was, despite the roughness), and I said I actually liked him as a person and didn't want to just jump into sex with him (bc I *did* want to have sex that night) before establishing what we are both looking for. I said I wasn't just looking for fun but am looking for something real. I said if he was just looking for fun, I wouldn't be offended in the least but that I'm in a different place. He never writes during the day bc of his job (something I really respect - he's very focused) but this time he wrote me back midday within an hour or so of my text and he said we are on the same page, that he's not looking for just fun either, and that he likes me too. He then said we could go as slow as I wanted to. After that, he texted me nearly every day that week and then asked me out for the following Saturday. I had been waiting to see if my text was going to scare him off but it didn't and it actually made him even more communicative so I saw that as a very reassuring sign.
The following Saturday we had another great long date and I let him come back to my apartment. We were both acting a little nervous. He had to take his contacts out and put his glasses on and asked me if I liked his glasses in a sheepish way (again, shy/insecure vibe). We ended up sleeping together. He had a slightly gentler touch this time but still very rough rubbing and didn't seem to know how to touch a woman down there. I told him to be gentler (in a very nice way) and he said "I AM being gentle". I thought he sounded a little frustrated but wasn't sure. Then after just a few minutes he said "are you going to cum?" and again, I thought it sounded a bit annoyed. I actually did end up having a small orgasm. I got the sense he didn't believe me or was underwhelmed that I wasn't screaming at the top of my lungs or something. He never asked me what I liked or what got me off and I found that a little strange. Like, if he was so concerned about getting me off, then why wouldn't he ask what worked for me? It felt a little like it wasn't about my pleasure but more about his ego but, again, wasn't sure. I went down on him (something I am good at) and he was incredibly into it, almost even more-so than other guys I've been with and they loved how I did it. He didn't reciprocate, which was ok with me bc I know some people aren't as comfortable doing that to someone at first. The sex was hot but also a bit like a younger inexperienced guy with a lot of "ramming". I am pretty patient the first few times I have sex with someone b/c the first time is always a little nerve-wracking for both parties and you're just starting to figure out each other's bodies/likes/etc. Something that really struck me was that he was ready to have sex with no protection. I stopped him and asked about STI testing and told him the last time I was tested. He seemed slightly impatient when I brought these things up. It was extra surprising bc he is a doctor. And then he asked me *after* the fact whether I was on birth control, which I was. He spooned me and cuddled me really tenderly for almost the rest of the night/morning and caressing my arm with his thumb. It felt really tender and hot at the same time.
Anyway, the next morning he wanted to have sex again (as did I) and we did. We laid in a bed for a little after that and then he turned to me and said, sort of awkwardly, "you can kick me out at any time if you need to do things". I took this as humility and maybe he was afraid he was overstaying his welcome but there was a tiny suspicion that he wanted to get up and go but didn't want to be rude. I smiled and said I don't want to kick him out at all and that I liked him being there. Things were a little awkward once we got up and moving. I was very nice and pleasant and asked him if he wanted me to make some breakfast or go out for some. He said he had to get going. There were other times things seemed a little awkward with him, but it usually felt like it was his shyness. I can be extremely outgoing but I noticed myself getting a little shy and awkward with him at times bc of his shyness, also probably bc I actually liked him. Once our dates got going every week and esp after he had a few sips of a drink, he was so much more relaxed and talkative. Anyway, something felt a little off when he left. I sent him a funny text about a half hour after he left relating to something that happened that morning and he did text back in a humorous way. I thanked him for the previous night and he thanked me back. I said I hope to see him again soon and he didn't respond to that.
Then 3-4 days went by without any texts from him. For me, this is unusual. I have never had a grown man (who wasn't supposed to just be a hook-up) go days without texting me after the first time having sex. It's not about clinginess but about respect/consideration. I have never been someone that gets suddenly needy after having sex with someone. Furthermore, this was a noticeable decrease in communication compared to the previous 1-2 weeks when the texting/communication seemed to increase a bit, esp after I told him I liked him and he said the same back. Wednesday evening rolled around and I still hadn't heard from him. This is normally his day to ask me out again. I decided to reach out and ask him about something I knew we were both watching on TV that night. He wrote back an hour or so later (he usually takes hours to respond, even in the evenings after work). I texted back in agreement to what he said. That seemed to be the end of the conversation. I was getting a distinct weird vibe at this point. The next AM I woke up and saw that he had texted me again about 3-4 hours after my last text the previous night. I had fallen asleep and didn't see it until morning. I just "liked" his text and didn't respond back bc it didn't really warrant a response. Then two more days went by without communication and at this point I thought it was over and felt sad and a bit offended. Until suddenly he texted me on Friday all excited (and with a lot of enthusiasm that he hardly ever used over text with me) bc he found out the fancy expensive car he was waiting to get came in and he had to go to another state to pick it up. He was super excited and asked if I had any plans for the weekend. I was very nice but was a bit cooler. I said I was so happy to hear about his car and that I was just going to be doing school work all weekend (I'm in grad school). We chatted a little about his car but he didn't ask me out. It felt weird that he asked me what I was up to for the weekend but then didn't try to make plans. The convo ended and I thought things over that night and decided not to hold it against him bc maybe he was processing some feelings after having sex for the first time with me and I also got the vibe when we were intimate that he thought he may not have been pleasing me so maybe he was nervous/insecure. However, this is why I made sure to tell him shortly after he left my place that I hoped to see him again soon (to which he didn't reply).
So I decided to take the lead this time and asked him the next morning if he'd be back by Sunday and, if so, I could go to where he lives. He sent a cool response back saying he wasn't sure where he'd be at or whether he'd spend another night with his family in the state he was in. He said if he came home Sunday it would likely be a little later but probably enough time to do something. He said he should know more about his plans by that night. Again, it just felt very lukewarm; a feeling in my gut. I very enthusiastically wished him luck and congratulated him again on getting his car. I told him to send me a photo of it when he got it. The rest of that day and night went by without communication and no photo of the car or letting me know what his plans were for Sunday. It seems small but it was another thing that made me feel like we weren't gaining the momentum in each other's lives. Like, I never knew what he was doing after work, who he was seeing, any day to day going-ons in his life and we had talked about this car since the first date bc he was frustrated about all the logistical issues he ran into in trying to obtain it. I would think if he was so excited and I was so aware of this part of his life, that he'd want to send me a pic. I'm pretty positive he texted a pic to all his buddies on their "bro chain". At times, he sounded a little like a frat guy with his "bros" and I got the feeling perhaps he was trying to be the person he wasn't when he was younger. He is a bit nerdy and was much nerdier when he was young. They also go to bars that mainly college kids and people in their 20's go to and his closest buddy who lives in my city and is a very successful professional seems to drink heavily, at least recreationally.
The next morning (Sunday) rolled around and I was frustrated again. I just kept getting this vibe on and off that he had lost interest or was toying with me a bit. But then he texted me in the morning telling me he was already home and asked if I was still up for seeing him that night. I was surprised bc he told me, if he was coming home on Sunday, it would be later. So I thought, if he got up early this AM to drive the few hours home, maybe he was really eager to see me and had just been playing it cool. I told him I was still up for it and ok to drive to him since he had been driving all over the place all weekend. Again, he made the reservation and even called them to make sure they had heaters outside so I could decide whether I wanted to sit indoors or outdoors. It all seemed very considerate again. So I went and, as always, things were a little awkward when I first showed up, plus I was feeling a little cautious after I felt his behavior after having sex together was a little inconsiderate and immature. I gave him a little kiss to say hi. We went to dinner and started talking and, as usual, we had the best conversation (and really got going after he had had a little bit to drink). He also admitted that he was extremely shy in high school and some of college and couldn't even speak to girls. I told him that was sweet and that girls can be stupid in high school and ignore the sweet guys like that. I mentioned I dated in high school and had some older boyfriends that I shouldn't have had and that I think it's better to be shy about dating when you're that young. There was a musician playing outside for the outdoor diners. He played an instrument that I had studied very seriously through childhood and part of college. My date got up to use the mens room and the musician walked over to my table. I don't know what his intention was but as he approached I told him I played that instrument too and we had a whole convo about that. The waitress came by and began to talk as well. My date returned from the bathroom and I brought him into the convo by telling the musician that my date was also raised in the same state that he was. They chatted briefly about that. After the whole convo was done and it was just me and my date left at our table he gave a small laugh and said, "I come back from the bathroom and there's a crowd of people around you talking to you". Now, I am quite outgoing and since I was a little girl, people have always been a bit drawn to me and always just start talking to me and opening up to me. I enjoy speaking with other people and having warm exchanges, whether it's a server, bar-tender, etc. I am definitely more outgoing than he is in that way but I never carry on for more than a few mins like I'm ignoring him, it's usually with females, and I've never flirted with men in front of him.
We went back to his place and watched something on TV. I could see in the corner of my eye that he kept looking over at me and watching me. It seemed almost like he was looking at me and debating whether he should kiss me or not (again, shyness vibe). We were sort of cuddling, he was rubbing my legs which were almost in his lap. Then he just leaned over and kissed me and we began making out. We had made out just for a few minutes when he asked if we should go to the bedroom. So we went and we had sex. It was better this time but still a lot of ramming and he seemed to expect or want me to cum just from penetration (again, inexperienced vibe). I tried to help myself along. I didn't cum. This is not unusual for me. Like most women, I don't cum every time and when I don't, it doesn't bother me at all bc I love so many other things about sex; just the whole act, process, the feeling of being taken over by someone. Anyway, it was still hot and we shared some dirty talk. Afterwards, again, he cuddled and caressed me. He then asked me if I had paid the musician from dinner over Venmo bc I asked the guy for his Venmo. I told my date that I had given him some money, and my date squeezed my arm and whispered that that was very generous. It felt really nice, like he appreciated generosity in a partner.
The next morning we stayed in bed longer and chatted. He was, again, less animated. Whenever he got like that, I would feel a little like he wasn't as into it. But he did open up a little about some issues he was having with someone at work and we talked it out for a while. It felt nice that he finally sort of opened up about something in his life or something he was worried about. At one point, something came up about the sex and he looked down and said in an extremely serious tone, "but you didn't cum". I looked over at him and said really nicely/tenderly, "oh no. don't put that on yourself. I don't always cum. It isn't always about that for me. I just love how hot it is when we're together and we're still getting to know each other's bodies". He didn't look at me or say much to that. But again, it was confusing to me bc he is fine expressing that he's unhappy about me not cumming but he never asked me what I like, what can we do to get me there. It was like he just wanted to keep doing what he was doing but with better results. I had asked him a few times the first time I went down on him what he liked and can he can tell me anything he doesn't like but he just moaned that everything was perfect. Something also came up about him being ok about not using a condom with someone he hasn't known for very long and he just said "yea, I don't usually ever do that" not sure what that means ?? But again, his tone and demeanor just didn't make me feel like I could talk more about it. There was also a moment when I sat up in bed and my back was exposed while he laid next to me. He touched a tattoo I have on my shoulder and he asked "how many tattoos DO you have?" he didn't say it like he was revolted or anything but I definitely got the vibe that he may not have liked them. I laughed and said I have four and hate two of them and that I warn all young people, especially my patients, not to get a tattoo until they've really thought about it. He made a little comment "so you were like a rebel when you were younger". I guess based on the tattoos and other little things or stories I had told him. I was a bit rebellious when I was in high school and college but not terribly so and I am an extremely driven and a somewhat neurotic professional and grad student now. He, on the other hand, was a reserved all AP classes kind of kid. I don't know what exactly it was but I got a bad vibe again. Almost like I felt a little ashamed and I NEVER feel like that about my adolescence. It's ridiculous. He also mentioned at one point that he was an introvert. I just smiled and nodded. Now, I kept getting the vibe he was introverted but then there were times when he didn't seem introverted at all. He did seem to have a bit of an ego about his job (definitely a doc who likes to be right... don't they all) and a bit vain. I can be vain too. I like fashion and looking nice and taking care of myself, but sometimes his vanity seemed perhaps a bit insecure. He had shyly said a couple of times on our first few dates that he has to go to the gym and work at it bc he didn't get the "good genes" in terms of height, and build. He was always on the thinner side. He also had lied about his height online by about 2-3 inches. I normally see that as a red flag in terms of confidence and honesty but I had ignored it bc we had had such a great first date. I thought he looked great and was *extremely* attracted to him and now that he's older and works out, he has a very nice physique! But he is not considered traditionally "handsome" but he is very very cute and I found him super hot bc of our connection. I also felt he talked about his new car frequently as a slight brag and also mentioned other monetary things like a large amount of extra money he might be getting through his job. For someone who didn't share a whole lot about himself and his daily life, it always struck me that he would talk about these status symbols. I attributed it to normal male nerves and wanting to impress a girl he liked. The night I met his friends, they also were ragging on him about how he always needs to choose a halloween costume where he can show off his arms. I thought it was funny at the time but now I wonder if he really does now think he's some sort of hotshot bc of his large salary, new fancy car, new muscles, etc lol.
Anyway, he was very reserved again and we got up, got dressed, and he asked me if I wanted him to make coffee. He only had caffeinated and I told him I don't do well with caffeine but thanked him. He then walked over to me with his phone and an app was pulled up for a local coffee shop. He said he'd order us coffees from there so I could have decaf. Again, seemed very considerate. We went to get the coffees and he was still really reserved and seemed a little cold. I guess, that's the thing. I have known and been friends with reserved people but I can still get a warm vibe from them. But during these reserved times, it always felt a bit cold with him and it definitely made me feel and behave more reserved. We got the coffees and drove back towards his place. When we got closer, he asked in an unenthusiastic tone if I wanted to come back up to his place for a little. I said "Umm, yea.. I'd like that. I'd like to hang out a bit. You said you had to go to the gym, when do you plan on going?" then he said "well I was just going to finish my coffee and go straight there". He said it, again, somewhat coldly. I was so confused and the whole exchange felt a little awkward. He asked me up but then says we will only hang out for like 5 mins bc he's just going to finish his coffee and then go on with his day? I just felt confused again like I constantly kept feeling with him and I normally don't get confused like this with guys. So I pleasantly said "oh ok. If you're just going to head to the gym in a few mins, I might as well just head home." I was disappointed bc, again, like the previous week we had sex, I would have been really happy to spend a little time with him the day after but he didn't seem to feel the same way. I wanted so badly to go up with him and relax on his couch and hang out. Then I put my hand on his cheek and said I had another great time. I gave him a sweet kiss. When I pulled back, he was smiling but there was something weird. Like it wasn't a nice big smile, he looked a little shy but also something else. Almost worried?? I don't know, but I just got that weird vibe again and I don't get these vibes often from men - I usually can tell by this point whether they're interested or not. I don't normally get paranoid. I normally have the opposite, where the guy wants to spend more time with me and I'm being more cautious in the beginning. I am not used to this power dynamic where I find myself seemingly more interested in communicating and spending time with a guy than he does with me. It felt like another red flag.
I drove the hour it took to get home. I didn't hear from him the rest of the day. He didn't ask me if I got home ok or anything. The next day I sent him a photo of something. He wrote me back about 6-7 hours later after work. It was an unenthusiastic short sentence with no punctuation. I responded with something humorous and also told him something I was excited about that day (it was only a couple sentences), and then said I had just gotten home from work and I had hoped he had a great day. No response. Not even a delayed one; no response to me saying I hoped he had a good day; no response in regards to what I was excited about, which bugged me bc I was always so supportive and animated about the little things he was excited about in his life like his new car. At this point, I felt very very strange. I noticed, even though I didn't text him a lot bc I was trying to mirror his texting habits, that when I did, I would get really nervous beforehand. Almost like I was worried I'd look desperate or stupid for reaching out and that I already knew he wouldn't write back for a long time or would write back unenthusiastically. I usually never feel inhibited like this with someone at this stage of dating, esp when I am usually the more reserved one over text with a man in the beginning. It was an interesting thing to observe in myself. I was quite annoyed at this point and concerned about the future of a possible relationship with someone who lived at a distance and was so uncommunicative and unenthusiastic in between dates. And the fact that we started sleeping together and I made sure to take more initiative the previous week in terms of texting him and making plans to ensure he knew I was really still feeling it and he didn't change his behavior at all. Again, his enthusiasm and communication actually decreased. I would have been perfectly happy staying on the same trajectory we were on before we slept together but the fact that he got colder afterwards was a red flag to me.
So this is where it gets weirder. After he never texted me back and I was on the verge of just giving up on it and thoroughly annoyed at this point, the next day I was at home and had to send money to one of my friends over Venmo. I opened the app and my feed immediately popped up and I saw my date's name. I kind of perked up and clicked on his profile out of curiosity. I then saw that he had zero transactions in the last year or so except for transaction after transaction after transaction with another girl. All the transactions had cute little emojis like cocktails, coffees, food, cars/uber, etc. She humorously mentioned in one of them that this was their routine, how they always split 20:80. They seemed to get a more frequent this past spring, picked up much more through the summer, and then I noticed he had seen her every single weekend for the last 2 months on either Friday night or Saturday morning/day before he saw me on our Saturday nights. He had talked to me about a couple of his friends and the "bros" pretty frequently and I even met a couple of them early on, especially the ones that live in my city/state. But I realized he never ever talked about any friends he had in his city/state, never ever mentioned anything he ever does there recreationally. There were a couple times we had gone on dates and he had mentioned he had already "eaten a little something before he came" and I realized those were some of the days he had seen this girl before me, based on the Venmo transaction dates. He never ever mentioned her, or that he had eaten with a friend before seeing me, never mentioned any of the restaurants or activities he did with her. I found this very very odd. If they were really good friends or something and he mentioned her, I wouldn't find it as weird. Though, I do think it's questionable when a man in his upper 30's sees a particular woman every single weekend in a row and they're "just friends". I kept trying to think but there was just no other explanation. I figured out she was 8 years younger and they do not work together but they live in the same city. This is a complete side note and could be absolutely nothing, but on our third date, he had mentioned he had dated someone who was 8 years younger and couldn't stand how many pictures she took all the time and that he felt like she wasn't really enjoying the actual moment. He said he had told her to stop taking so many photos. At the time, nothing seemed that weird, however I noted immediately that he seemed really annoyed just talking about it, almost like it was recent. This isn't hindsight talking, I picked up on this when he told me but it obviously wasn't strange enough to think about it after. Again, could be nothing and a completely different girl from his past, but I found it strange coincidence that this girl on his Venmo is 8 years younger and he was complaining about a somewhat recent person in his life who was 8 years younger and displayed some (in his opinion) immature behaviors. If he was complaining to his "new girl" about his "ongoing girl", that is really really sh***y. This guy is really not into social media. He would harp on it a lot and talk about how he thought it was ruining certain aspects of our culture and how we obtain reliable info. He suggested a documentary to me early on about social media and I watched it and it scared me too. But then I started wondering if he just doesn't use social media bc he's shady. I suppose that's the problem. I kept getting these vague shady vibes from him.
So here is where you may tell me I sound insane. But after I had just about ended it the previous week after he had been, what I perceived as, disrespectful after first sleeping together, and all the other vague lukewarm vibes I got from him, and not responding to me at all the previous day, I decided I was not going to ask him about it, I was just going to end things. It was getting to be too much for me... or rather too little. I didn't feel like there was a momentum building and any minimal momentum we had had actually ceased once we had slept together. I texted him and said this was really hard to do bc I liked him on several levels and have had so much fun with him. I said I know he is introverted and reserved and I actually like that in a man but I keep getting the distinct feeling that there is more to his reservedness with me. I said I don't know for sure what it is, but it's a strange vibe and, from my experience and other reasons of my own [aka Venmo, but I didn't say that yet] it seems like he may have his thoughts and time distracted by someone else. I told him I don't expect or want a commitment so early on with someone, however I do believe in sexual exclusivity while I'm trying to find out what I have with someone I'm sleeping with and I also am not ok with sleeping with someone who has possibly been seeing someone for a while (more than just a couple of first dates). I didn't say this part but I am a realist and know that most of us are likely seeing a few people for 1, 2, maybe 3 dates around the same time but if he has been seeing someone regularly with increased frequency since the SPRING, that's about 6 months. I then said that, unfortunately, these vibes are making me concerned about trustworthiness and just plain sexual health. I said I think it may be best not to discuss further and to go our separate ways.
He took 6 hours to reply and wrote me back close to midnight and just said "I'm not currently sleeping with anyone else, but if that's how you feel then ok. Take care as well." I replied a little while later and just said, I know you don't like social media, etc but I think you should be aware of what Venmo is sharing about your life on your friends' public feeds. So then I was super sad the next couple of days but felt that I made the right decision. However, on the following Saturday, I was curious and decided to see if there was another Venmo payment like clock work on his feed from her. There was, and she just wrote "therapy sesh" with a coffee and martini emoji. I talked to my mom about it, who had agreed his signals were too inconsistent, but she made an oops face and agreed that this was weird right after I ended things with him. None of their transactions ever had even a hint of sadness or upset in them and now 3 days after I broke it off with him he's having a "therapy sesh" with her. Of course it could have literally nothing to do with me. I said "oh my god, do you think they really are just friends and he was confiding in her about this?!". of course there was no way to know for sure but my mom suggested I write him once more, on the off chance that I had read him completely wrong from the beginning, to let him know I was sorry if I came off too harsh. I wrote him and said I was sorry for how I ended things that may have seemed abrupt and didn't give him much of a chance to reply. However, I did feel that I had a hard time gauging how he felt about me at times, and that there was a distinct drop in communication and increase in lukewarm vibes from him once we had become intimate. I said I found this all very concerning about respect, trust, interest level, etc. I said it all came to a head this past week in terms of trust and that's why I did what I did. I said "Was I completely off base? Bc if I was, I think i was hurtful and I'm sorry for using inadequate tact". That was almost two weeks ago and I have had no reply. I wasn't really expecting one.
So I am on here bc I feel completely messed up about this. I have never posted anything on a site like this in my life. I've never been this conflicted about a decision like this nor feel this sort of regret. I read people quite well and pick up on red flags well and reasonably early. When I end things with a guy, even if I feel sad or a little regret, it's clear I made the right decision. We had so many things aligned in terms of values, beliefs, the way we viewed the world, weird offbeat shows we found funny, sophisticated taste in cuisine, among so many other things. I have not met anyone quite as compatible in all those ways and I was starting to have feelings for him, despite my concerns. I kept telling myself I just needed to better understand an introvert. So bc of this and my age, I am obsessing over whether I threw away something that could have been potentially wonderful if I had been more patient. Was I too hasty to think the worst? Did I read him wrong and he really was this little introverted, nervous guy who was trying to act/seem cool? Has he had issues with other women finding him too reserved and I was just another one to make him feel bad about himself bc of it? I had moments where I thought he may have not been confident enough to be with someone like me and was very immature, despite his professional success. I am very friendly, outgoing, I do draw a lot of attention from men (sorry for the arrogance), and I know quite a bit about politics, medicine, I'm well-traveled and well-spoken. I have known multiple doctors before who clearly need a woman who plays second fiddle so they are the "star". Please give me honest but respectful feedback. I just am having a hard time letting this one go. I realize noone will know the true answers to my questions, except for him, and the fact that I'm so worried about it now probably proves I should have opened up a dialogue about it, rather than just end things. If I wasn't prepared to deal with the emotional fallout of it ending and my questions never being answered, then I should have waited a bit longer. I also realize that, if I WAS completely off base, to him, I must look like a paranoid lunatic and he would never want to speak to me again. I don't know. Please be real with me. Please be kind. Thanks.
submitted by REL84 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 16:08 nicksaxophoneman Expiring Travel Voucher

Hi everyone,
I am in that same predicament as previous users with funds expiring November 30, 2020. These funds were supposed to expire in 2022 but because I booked/cancelled a flight due to unforeseen circumstances AFTER September 7, 2020, the travel voucher has reverted back to an "original" date of November 30, 2020. This is clearly really inconvenient being the flight I need to book is 2 months after the new expiration. I have called Southwest and got the same response as others, nothing they can do about it. I have tried to book a flight for a few $ more and cancel it as recommended by some other users but no extension has occurred as of yet. Some other users have said they managed to get their funds extended due to a "disruption" due to COVID. I am not completely sure what this means or how I go about doing this.
Any help or suggestions in this situation would be appreciated.
submitted by nicksaxophoneman to SouthwestAirlines [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 11:41 semiTnuP I Was A Roommate From Hell. Then Someone Saved Me.

I'm posting this here because I was absolutely a roommate from hell and I don't know what other subreddit this belongs in. (Maybe the rest of you can tell me because I'm new to the site. Had an account for some time but only used it to look at subreddits that RSlash has featured on his channel, never posted before. RSlash, if you read this, fee free to use it in a video if you think it's appropriate.)
This 'happened' from when I was 19 until I was 27. I've been diagnosed as having Asperger's Syndrome since I was 12. My mom went somewhere between "to hell and back" and "the ends of the universe" to find out about my condition and get me the kind of care and alternative teaching solutions so I could function. This went so far as to land me on my province's disability pension program to help cover costs. (This was in the late 1990's so Asperger's and autism awareness weren't exactly mainstream.) When I graduated high school at 18, I had absolutely no idea how to move out and live on my own. So my superhero of a mom went ahead and found a program in a neighbouring city that had people move into a house supervised by professional support staff. These support staff basically became your mom/dad and taught you how to be mindful of bills, how to cook, clean, form habits and even get a job. I lived there for two years before I 'graduated' by moving out and getting an apartment with another 'graduate' of the program in the city. (Also, at this point in my life, I had attempted suicide 3 times from issues unrelated to this story. This does not in any way excuse my behaviour. It just comes up later in the story.) This is all backstory BTW, the hell begins here.
Pretty much right from the start my monetary habits were bad. I spent a lot on video games, junk food and card games (mostly in that order.) I almost never had cash on hand and my money was always dangerously close to running out. I was living paycheck to paycheck despite the fact that I still had a disability pension that covered my rent, most of my utilities and a decent portion of a reasonable food budget. Of course, my 'budgets' (had they ever actually existed) would have been wildly unreasonable and it was only by pure luck (and the odd bailout from my dad who was by no means rich himself) did I get by. I never missed a bill or borrowed money from my roommate but I got extremely close a few times.
And then I was fired from my job.
Things spiralled out of control quickly. Despite losing a sizable portion of income, my spending habits didn't change at all. If anything they got worse. The stress of being fired (something I had never experienced before) coupled with my Asperger's caused me to stress eat like there was no tomorrow. Instead of a bailout from dad every 10 months, it became monthly or even weekly. My dad is a nice guy and he's always had a soft spot for me so he never once thought of saying no. (I would later learn he took out a SECOND FUCKING MORTGAGE ON HIS HOUSE just to keep a 'son fund' on hand so he could be there to cover for me.) And then my mom died. The stress and despair of losing her pushed my bad habits into overdrive. I started missing bills, buying more games, running out of food and literally starving for days on end (I was never in any danger as I was pretty overweight but it still sucked), stopped cleaning the apartment/doing dishes and eventually even had to borrow money off my roommate. This continued right up until my landlord offered us a buyout for the remainder of our lease because they wanted to upgrade the building and charge a HUGE increase in rent for anyone who returned. At this point, my roommate was sick of me. I owed him something north of $500, my rent (which was supposed to be covered by a government disability pension, remember) was a month late and I was mooching his food every chance I got because I had none of my own to eat. I honestly hope he found better people afterwards because I was a roommate from hell at the end.
I was terrified of being evicted and did not want to take the buyout. Where I live, if a buyout is not accepted and the tenants have no outstanding issues that can lead to being evicted, the landlord has to honour the agreement until renewal date. By the same token though, in order to receive the buyout, all tenants living in a unit have to agree with the buyout. If anyone who's name is on the lease says no, no one gets a dime. I told my roommate I wanted to stay. He was completely not impressed and replied. "I am so sick of living with you. You have two options. Option 1: agree to the buyout and leave with a bit of money in your pocket. Option 2: Be stubborn until the buyout offer has expired and I'll put in my notice the day after." If he moved out, my landlord had made it perfectly clear that they would not let me find a new roommate and I would have to cover the entire rent for the two bedroom by myself. I could never have afforded that even if I had good financial habits, let alone with the way I was at that point. So I called up my dad, broke down and cried my eyes out. I was scared shitless, I couldn't see a way out of my predicament and I knew deep down that it was all my fault. I told my dad that I didn't see a way out except one: I lived on the 11th floor and the 'express' elevator was a cost-saving, efficient means of escaping this nightmare. It didn't help that I was out on the balcony while saying this. He could hear the breeze through the phone. This obviously freaked my dad out enough to contact the only person he could think of who would go on to save my life: my aunt.
Backstory on my aunt: She's a 65 year old woman (sister of my mother) who's worked 35+ years at a rail yard. Physically demanding work that's kept her in great shape and developed a no-nonsense attitude. She's so tough, she's mouthed off to guys three times her size and had THEM back down. She is old-school strict and EXTREMELY good at handling money. She moved out of the house at 16 and, by the time she was 24, was PUTTING A DOWN PAYMENT ON A CONDO (that she still lives in 40+ years later.) This woman's favourite game was Monopoly and she kicked so much ass at it that no one wanted to play with her. She and my father have always been close but she and I, despite having a great relationship when I was a little kid, had a deteriorating one at this point because our personalities clashed. Every time we were in the same room together it was like someone had put on Jerry Springer at max volume. She is exacting with language and hates being questioned on something she believes she's explained adequately. I, on the other hand, will ask constant questions over and over until something is explained to me in a way that I understand, which isn't always the easy or simple way that something is usually explained. You can probably see how bad a combination this was. We hadn't talked to each other in almost eight years apart from the odd 'social call' that inevitably ended up with shouting and tears.
Anyway, back to the story. My dad actually kept me on the phone because he was THAT worried that if he hung up, the next call would be from the local PD about his son's death. Even so, his voice never betrayed an ounce of panic. He grabbed up his work phone with his other hand and called my aunt. This was at THREE IN THE MORNING on a Monday before work. Despite the back breaking work that she did every day, she woke up and picked up on the first ring. My dad, worried that me hearing my aunt's voice would make me more depressed and possibly make me jump (because we always argued), muted himself and explained to her (in a quick 10 second aside) that her nephew was standing on his balcony and seriously contemplating jumping the fuck off of it. He (my dad) had no idea what to do. He unmuted himself to reply to something I said before I launched into another batch of sobbing and incoherent mumbling. Then he remuted himself to beg her to help me. He didn't even get past "could you" before she cut him off with "I'm on it." She hung up and dialed my number.
I see the number on my phone and say "My...aunt?...is calling me???"
His reply. "It's three in the morning. You should probably answer it."
I say. "Why bother? She'll just yell at me again. I'm just a stupid fuckup in her eyes. I know what she's going to say to me. I'd rather just eat the pavement now if it's all the same to you."
For the first time, the panic edges into his voice. "If you're seriously going to do this, the least you could do is pick up and say goodbye to her."
I can't refute his logic. So I hang up on him and pick up her call. I can't even get past a dejected "hi aunt" before she's telling me that she's on her way. Just go to sleep, you've got time, she'll be by tomorrow and fix everything. I'm constantly trying to interject with "don't bother, I'll just jump and you can be rid of me." And she won't have it. She tells me "That's tomorrow. If I'm only getting one more day with my favourite nephew, I'm making it count." She repeats this over and over until she hears me go back inside. She makes me promise that if I decide to jump before she gets there, I'll call her so she can say goodbye. She texts my dad while still on the phone with me, telling him to call me back so she can make some arrangements. When I pick up my dad's call, she goes to work.
First, she e-mailed her boss to say that a family emergency had come up and she was taking both vacation and PTO (she had NEVER taken PTO or vacation time in the 30+ years she worked there.) Then she woke up her common-law husband to tell him that she was leaving to go help her nephew. He could call her if he needed to talk to her. Then she got in her car at FOUR IN THE MORNING and drove for three hours to come see me. As much as she saved my life that night/morning, that wasn't the true saving. That was to come.
The next day, she showed up at my apartment at noon. I welcomed her in only to see that she had three huge bags of groceries. She helped me get it stocked in the kitchen and then we sat down to chat. I started explaining how deep in the shit I was, taking full responsibility that everything was my fault and that she really should've just let me jump last night. By the time I'd finished, she had tears in her eyes. Then her expression hardened and she just asked me for details on what I owed and to whom. She proceeded to settle every debt I had, even the debt to my roommate, who had no way of enforcing it. Then she went to the landlord and haggled an additional three thousand dollars into the buyout. We signed the papers and she started hunting for a place to live. It took her all of ten days to find a room for rent with a reasonable price. She took me to sign the lease the next day. Then she told me that I was closing all of my bank accounts and opening a joint account with her. Not asked me, TOLD ME. I was sort of in autopilot and just went with everything she said. I was waiting for her to start berating me. She never did. Finally, she co-ordinated the move from my apartment to the room for rent, personally doing almost all the heavy lifting, both loading and unloading. Finally, with me settled into a new home, she went home and back to work. She started teaching me budgeting. She didn't restrict my money, apart from the rent for my room. I got every dime of my disability pension after rent and could do what I want with it but every Sunday I had to go over the bank statement with her and explain and justify every cent. She never yelled at me when I fucked up but she made me add up all the transactions that weren't in the budget and then showed me how much money I was wasting with my tendencies. This lasted for two years. Finally, I 'graduated' from the program and, while I wasn't the extreme moneysaver my aunt was, I've never run out of money since, even though I don't always have a job. I've never had to borrow money from my dad again.
Last year, she finally retired from the rail yard. As a retirement present, I bought her an all-expenses paid day trip to a spa in her city. When she received the pass in the mail, she tried to get me to refund it, stating that I didn't have the money to be doing things like this. The spa day cost $450. I e-mailed her copies of my bank statements showing that I could easily afford to spend that money out of the $2500 I had saved up since graduation. I told her that I wasn't taking no for an answer and if she loved me she'd accept it and enjoy herself. She told me later that it was the best retirement gift she got from anyone. Not the spa, mind you, but the bank statements. (But she enjoyed the spa too.)
(I'd like to post this in a subreddit for amazing people, because my aunt was an unparalleled SAINT but I don't know if that exists/what it's called.)
TLDR: I was a roommate from hell. When I hit rock bottom, my badass superhero of an aunt saved my life and my future.
submitted by semiTnuP to roommatesfromhell [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 10:00 TorsoHunter The Feathers of Grace and Evil (Part 2)

A lot has happened in these past 7 years since the ambush. The death of my father had a huge impact on everyone's lives, villians included. Crime and murder dates continued to increase at alarming rates higher than before. Learning about his and his family's death left the entire country at unease. All of the Protectors were struggling to provide a stable shield for their people. Grandma and I were forced to hide ourselves all the time in fear of Pin and his men noticing me. Without him, who was there to shine in the pitch-black darkness of evil that loomed over us?
Inevitably, the conditions in Jedylyn Town became too harsh to live in. It took us 6 years to finally give in and leave our beloved home. Grandma and I were forced to move to a different, more peaceful area. This was an opportunity for me to put my past behind me, to begin a new life.....
----------------------------------------
"Dari! You're gonna be late!" Grandma bellowed from the living room. Dari was staring blankly at his cereal as he was slowly stirring it, deep in thought. Life here has been....strange. At least for him. He was so accustomed to a lifestyle where the paparazzi would chase him around, where kids in his class would go on about how cool and rich his father was and how lucky he was to have him as family. Throughout his life, he was always famous and well-known across the country - perhaps even the world. But here....here it was different. It's like no-one even knows who he is.
Dari crossed his eyes, still gazing inside his bowl's contents. No no no Dari! Isn't this what you always wished for? A normal, average way of life? Weren't you always sick and tired of fame? Just then, Grandma lightly tapped his shoulder, snapping Dari out of his mind.
"It's trial day today. You'll give the school a bad impression of you from day one if you arrive late." She was right. Today was trial day for Dari; and a chance to revitalise his power that he's kept hidden for so long. That he's kept hidden for so long.... Dari focused his eyes on the palm of his hand.
"It's been a while since I used my power."
"What do you mean?"
"You see....during the ambush, I felt a burst of rage and merciless anger after seeing both my parents die and well....it's something I'm not able to control. And it's been more than 6 years since...." Dari slowly clenched his fist. ".....and even though I tried many times to tap into my power, I'm afraid I might not be able to activate it again."
"Oh Dari..." Grandma leaned in. Her eyes were beginning to water. Dari looked up and met her sorrow gaze.
"Given your tender age, you must've been through hell. We're in such an awful situation right now; it's a lot easier to hide and just give up in life. Just look at this place we're living in." Grandma made a quick gesture showcasing their place of abode to Dari.
They lived in a miniature, rented house just enough to allow 2 people to live in. The place looked like it wasn't able to stand for a day longer. The paint was slowly peeling off the walls, revealing the cracked, old, dusty tiles behind them. Some doors lost one hinge while others were completely gone from their rightful spot. The floorboard was so unstable, that it constantly creaked, no matter where you stepped.
"I'm not fit enough to work anymore, and your parents' inheritance can only last us for so long, even with the cheapest options we've made. But this......" Grandma briefly held Dari's hand in hers. "....this is an opportunity for you to finally leave freely again. We don't have much of a choice, since I already applied for you. If you manage to make it, you can begin work as soon as possible and I won't have to suffer seeing you in such pain everytime."
"So even if it means you can't activate your power anymore.....just go out there and try your best."
For a brief moment, they were looking at each other, grandmother and grandson. Grandma was the first to react and began walking out the kitchen. "Hurry, Dari! You're gonna be late."
------------------------
Dari was face to face with the receptionist behind the counter. The receptionist resembled a large man with scruffy hair and large, circular glasses. He had black bags under his eyes which were half-open, presumably due to the lack of sleep. He had a permanent frown on his face.
The receptionist raised one eyebrow at Dari, who was sweating and puffing. His eyes was studying the boy in front of him, who for some reason decided to wear a smart blazer with a bowtie and black jeans. Dari made it in time. The receptionist fixed his glasses and clicked his pen. He began speaking with a tone mixed with boredom and frustation.
"Alright, let's get this done with. Obligatory "Welcome to Xeno Protector Training Academy" blah blah blah tell me your name kid so I can check my register of trainees expected here."
"Dari. I'm Dari Tybalt."
The receptionist snorted mockingly and looked sharply at Dari. "Yeah right. I told you yesterday, Sage Svenn and his family died a long time ago. You don't look half as mighty as the great Svenn. Stop claiming false identity, kiddo." Dari rolled his eyes. They actually think I'm dead, he thought.
The receptionist checked his list. "But yeah, we do have a "Dari Tybalt" here and you're that same kid so I guess you can pass. The trial venue should be seen through the window by the hallway. It's that huge black box, you can't miss it unless you're as stupid as you are deluded."
The receptionist then yawned before dismissing Dari. "Just get outta my face so I can sleep now."
Without wasting time, Dari sprinted and followed the directions the fat receptionist told him. He threw the hallway exit door open and was out in the open, heading directly towards the trial venue. The box was a few hundred feet away from him, but it was so huge, Dari could've sworn the entirety of Jedylyn Town would've been able to fit inside.
The door leading to the inside of the box was within arm's reach. With one desperate push, Dari flung the door open; the following collision resonating a deafening boom across all corners of the room. He made it.
Inside, 7 kids, 2 of which were interrupted in mid-air mid-fight, were staring directly at the newcomer. The only person who didn't look back to see what was going on was a tall middle-aged man, arms behind his back in expectance. It was almost like he was waiting for Dari's arrival.
"Ah, so you've arrived....Dari Tybalt." He spoke in a soothing, relaxing tone, and the slight echo of the room only made it even more soothing to hear.
Back still turned on Dari, the tall lanky man raised a bony finger, beckoning him to come closer. Dari hesitated, before walking slowly towards him. Every footstep boomed across the room. Dari could feel the burn from the other trialists' glares as he continued walking. Some of them were already whispering among themselves, but whether they were talking about Dari's intimidated appearance or his choice of clothing, he couldn't tell for sure. The trial didn't even start and yet, Dari was already shaking and had difficulty swallowing down his fear. Just go out there and do your best, Dari. He stopped right behind the man, who still had his back turned to him.
Before Dari could even comprehend what he meant, the man quickly span on his heels and swung his foot at high speeds directly on Dari's jaw, sending him crashing into the wall nearby. Some of the trialists began giggling, while the others just watched on. The man approached Dari, who was slowly getting back up. He had a minor cut on the side of his lip, and wiped the blood from it. He looked at the man, surprised from what just happened.
"Young Dari, your trial has already begun from the moment you entered this place. You must be full of promise!" The bony man grabbed Dari by the throat and despite his meek appearance, effortlessly lifted him with one hand like as if he was nothing. The man's eyes were large in excitement as he stared right into the soul of Dari. Dari bashed at his hand and clawed at it like wild prey, trying to escape from the clutches of its predator, but to no avail. "Now, let us see your power!"
He tossed Dari away, who tumbled across the floor before bouncing back on his feet. The man lifted bony finger at himself in a taunt-like manner. "Try to lay a single finger on me and you pass this trial, OK?"
Dari charged right at the teacher and aimed his fist at his stomach. The teacher dodged to his side and kneed an off-balance Dari right in the spleen. Dari winced in pain and clutched his belly. No time to waste. He quickly turned around and attempted to sweep the man's left leg, but he easily lifted his leg and landed his heel right on Dari's ankle.
Dari let out a groan of agony and grabbed his left ankle. The teacher still stood with his arms behind his back, his facial expression slowly losing its bright colour of excitement and anticipation. Dari instantly shot back up and lunged at him, aiming to spear him down. The teacher knew better and pushed Dari by his ribs, shooting him off-balance. Dari was tossed away.
Damnit....no matter how many times I try, he's too fast for me. The man beckoned him to try again. Dari shot back up on his feet and ripped off his blazer. He then proceeded to charge at him, blazer in right hand and a nice left hook preserved for the teacher on the left. The teacher prepared to dodge to his right, but Dari tossed the blazer in his face.
The teacher was caught off-guard by Dari's sudden distraction. Dari flipped behind him and span around to deliver a roundhouse kick directly on his back. Under the face-cover of Dari's sweaty blazer, the teacher smiled and back-flipped behind Dari.
Dari quickly turned around, but the teacher stretched out a palm and exerted such air force onto Dari's back, sending him flying directly into the wall on the opposite side. The walls weren't dented a single bit from the impact, almost like they were indestructible. Dari meanwhile, was all bruised and battered. W-what?, he thought. How did he know I was there?! I was sure that I didn't make a single sound! The rest of the trailists were still watching on, disappointed.
The man was hardly breaking a sweat. He slowly tutted. "Smart tricks like that won't work." He was standing in front of Dari now, looking down at him. He was smiling impatiently. "You must to use your hidden power to even stand a single chance of passing. Come on, young Dari."
Dari was twitching uncontrollably. He was pretty sure he cracked a rib or two from that crash earlier. His ankle was beginning to swell even more now and the blood was gushing down from his lip now. His pupils were shaking; almost like he was going to cry at the predicament he was in. He tried to relive that snowy incident, the exact feelings he went through but his mind couldn't come up with anything. Come on....
"I...I can't......" For the first time, the skinny man's eyes reflected a feeling of betrayal and lost hope, which quickly turned to anger. His wide smile was now changed to an unpleasant frown. He violently grabbed Dari by the collar of his ripped T-shirt.
"You can't?" He wrapped his long fingers around Dari's face like a spider and crashed the back of Dari's head into the floor. Dari shrieked in sheer pain. He could swear that he felt the back of his skull crack. His vision began blurring and he began seeing twos and threes. His pupils rolled backwards.
One of the trialists, a young girl, decided to speak up. "Sir Terrowin, don't you think you're overdoing it? He might be in the wrong place?"
Terrowin didn't pay attention. His attention was fixed right on Dari, who was swaying between the worlds of consciousness and unconsciousness. His soothing tone now changed to one of exasperation.
"Don't make me laugh, Dari." He threw Dari from one side of the room all the way to the other, making him crash into yet another wall. The trialists couldn't watch; this was gonna get gruesome.
"Terrowin doesn't accept failures. If you can't match his expectations, it might be more than just a trip to the hospital for you." One of them said.
"Yeah, I don't like where this is heading.", another agreed.
"Either way, the kid dies." A boy around Dari's height spoke up. The other trialists looked straight at him. "If you can't even pass this trial test, what makes you think you have the ability to be the Protector that everyone relies on? He's just another failure who deserves to be taught a lesson."
Dari just had enough strength to open one eye. Tears were now flowing down his cheeks. C-come on..... Terrowin was now trudging to him, eyes growing darker than ever. Dari found himself immobilised. He couldn't move or talk or even think. Terrowin was getting closer and closer.
"How can you call yourself a son of the great Sage if you can't even tap into your own power?" Dari blinked and found himself staring at Terrowin's thin palm with his dizzy eye. This is it.....I'm going to die failing. A failure.
Terrowin muttered "You really are no threat." in a familiar hoarse voice and his face slowly began twisting and turning. His head snapped upwards sickeningly and proceeded to rotate a full 360°. Dari was completely perplexed as to what on earth was going on with him. Am I hallucinating because of my concussion? he thought to himself. Then, his head slowly descended down to Dari at face-level, and Dari's face switched to one of indescribable horror.
The crimson mask. The mad-man look. The pieces of flesh missing from his cheeks. It was Pin. He smiled deucedly. "Just give up and let me kill you, just like how your pathetic father did."
His expression of fear converted to one of vexation and anger, anger for what this cursed coward did to his parents. Dari slowly began clenching his fist. "You....you bastard." His pupils changed colour from black to a bloodlust red. An indistinct, white aura emerged from his dilapidated body and despite his severe injuries, Dari rised up from his knees onto his feet. His head was still looking down and his body was unnaturally swaying left and right, almost like he was possessed by a mighty spirit seeking for revenge. Bloody revenge.
"You'll pay....." The aura around him didn't cease to grow and it continued becoming larger and larger, until the trialists in the far side of the box noticed it. Thoughts began rushing through Dari's head.
Don't let him get you!
Go out there and try your best!
Just give up....
All these flashbacks were replaying in his head now. If he gives up now, he will let down his grandma. His parents. The people who trusted him. Another burst of energy washed over him. I WON'T GIVE UP! Dari curled up into a ball to gather up all the energy he gained and with outstretched arms, liberating a huge load of mystic energy around him like an explosive wave, propelling everyone off their feet.
Pin collided to the wall behind him, but the pain from the impact didn't collapse him to his feet. Instead, he was smiling even more now. Dari gazed at Pin and found himself looking at Terrowin, who continued beaming. So it really was a hallucination all along...
The trialists were gawking at Dari and his newfound power. It was only several minutes ago that they believed that he was an utter disappointment. Now he looked like he was going to kill anyone that stood in his way.
"Ah....so you were faking it, after all." Terrowin was the first to speak. The excitement and glee was growing back on his discoloured face. He outstretched his arms at Dari like how an inventor does when he reveals his latest invention to the public. "Your power is fantastic! Marvellous! What a sight!"
Dari didn't respond. His eyes were still looking for blood. The red-hot wrath and fury that he generated earlier from seeing Pin was now channeled directly to Terrowin, who instantly reminded him of the injuries he gave to him. He was gonna hit him with every ounce of his reawakened power he got. Dari gritted his teeth, the anger still beating strong through his veins.
"I won't give up!! Not here, not now!" Dari took a deep breath to recollect himself. His burning gaze never left Terrowin. He slowly raised a finger, pointing at Terrowin, whose smile momentarily changed to one of nervousness and fear. The words that Dari slowly uttered next sent reverberating chills down Terrowin's spine.
"You're gonna die today."
submitted by TorsoHunter to HFY [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 06:23 DonalbusTrumbledore What would you do?

So I’ll try my best to keep this brief. One of my best friends has a tiny house that I’m renting on her property. She on the day I signed the lease and gave her the money to live here told me she was dating a mutual friend of ours. A client of mine at my job.
My job is lending money to people, and this guy... is one of my top 5 clients... having racked up a staggering mid 5 digit debt to us over the past 2 years. I honestly don’t think he’s told her about this as he said he knew me by a different avenue of my job duties. Which is somewhat true but he doesn’t involve himself with that side of the business too often.
Generally the people I deal with are addicts to drugs or gambling (druggies always do tiny amounts and don’t come back, gamblers always take the most and come back often), just need a little cushion money for a few days (generally never take more than 50$), or just want to have a little fun for a short time (1 time a year 300$), or bill payers (take exact amounts). He takes the most he can but he could easily not gamble.
My friend for lack of a better word is kind of a dingus, very oblivious and generally forgets/ doesn’t pay attention to things, she’s easily entertained and it’s one of the many things I love about her. But she is extremely good with money and is extremely hard working and self-sufficient. I don’t want her to be roped into his shit AT ALL.
I can’t tell her about him as lending is confidential business between the parties involved (him and I). But I can’t confront him about it either as he can easily turn it against me and get her on his side as they are dating/ file a report to my employer saying that I am abusing personal information.
He has shown some manipulative behaviors and has in our poor judgment coerced my coworkers and I to give him extra money due to his history with the company I work for. It may just be me though.
So my predicament is I could stay here, with a potential bomb to go off while being fully aware of this bomb and it’s potential for destruction. Or I could leave. It’s a cheap place to stay with a washedryer included and plenty of storage for a third of the cost all the while being in a fantastic spot in town, but I wouldn’t be in the middle of this shit.
Me leaving would cause her to wonder why, and I don’t have a good reason to leave that I can tell her in confidence and it might be our friendship. Me staying might cost our friendship since I know of his bullshit and didn’t tell her, my job if I slip up and say something I am not supposed to.
I can’t hang out with her because I’m afraid of being the catalyst to an onslaught of shit. At the same time I don’t think it’s too serious right now but can get more so down the line. I don’t know what to do. So what do you think I should do in this predicament?
submitted by DonalbusTrumbledore to Advice [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 04:06 kmc_1102 How to Go About Valentine's Day

Hello, reddit. TL;DR question is at the bottom if you do not want to or cannot read the entire thing. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years now, and I have a bit of a predicament. I would like to sort this out now, even if it may seem early. This is a bit of a long story, so if you want to skip to the question it will be at the end. My boyfriend had 5 siblings. Four of his five siblings are alive. His brother who has passed died on Valentine's Day. My boyfriend was preschool age, and almost 2 decades later he still feels guilty about his brother's passing (he blames himself for whatever reason). I have never celebrated Valentine's Day with him the way couples usually celebrate, and I don't plan on doing that because I know this date is very hard for him to get through. What I want to know is what I should do to make getting through the day easier for my boyfriend. Is there anything I can do to ease his pain and guilt? I do not know whether to go about this day as a normal day or to try and do something to take his mind away from what has happened. This will be our third 2/14 together. The past 2 I've felt bad because the first one, I had no idea about what happened, and tried to be flirty up until he told me what he went through. The second year I went about the day as if it were any other day, but I know he was still hurting throughout the day. This year I want things to be different, if possible. I'm sorry if I sound like I am being ignorant about his situation, I am trying to do the exact opposite. I only say Valentine's Day in reference to the date because everyone will know what date I am talking about. As a disclaimer, I don't care much for the day in the first place, but I know that this date that is celebrated by couples all over and will be recognized as such. TL;DR: How do I help my bf get through the day of his younger brothers death?
submitted by kmc_1102 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 01:06 Krame77 Mcat Registration Change

I’m in a bit of a predicament. I’ve started studying and have a target date around March-April (super busy so unfortunately can’t grind it out in 2-3 months). So, aside from the fee for changing, is there any problem with registering for a March test date, knowing that I will likely change dates to early April? I’ve gotten mixed opinions.
submitted by Krame77 to Mcat [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 01:02 ReformedFate Great female friend I have strong suppressed feelings for VS. Wonderful girl I’m “talking” to

[This is starting to really get to me and confuse me, feelings I’m not used to and am uncovering. I’m looking for a committed relationship/dating, I never hookup and am not wanting flings.]
Background: I’m 23m and a senior in college, I’ve had a very tame ‘young adult’ and dating experience: (1 long term gf, and dated maybe 5 girls between 1-3 months each). Most people describe me as kind, introverted (but confident/friendly), respectful, smart, a ‘good guy’.
Girl #1: I have this female friend of mine that I’ve known for 3.5 years and been really good friends with. We have the same values, beliefs, quite similar interests. She’s honestly the most amazing girl I’ve ever met. I care so much about her and feel something I’ve never felt before with any other girl, even ones I’ve dated. If you can imagine the most friendly, outgoing, kind, and heart warming person, that’s only some of how great I feel about her. // She’s a bit younger than me (4.5 years), so I’ve always kinda held back or suppressed my feelings and I’ve never wanted to hurt the friendship. She maybe has a good idea I like her, but I haven’t asked her to be my gf or anything.
Girl #2: Girl 2 I have known for 1.25 years and have only recently (2 months ago), started to get closer to her. I was told by mutual friends that she likes me and I have been fond of her as well. She’s conventionally more “attractive” and 1 year older than girl #1. We have started to get a little closer, and have been on 2 ‘date’ type things, with a 3rd in the planning. She’s such a great/wholesome person, but I haven’t known her as long and I fear the feelings may be weaker for her than girl #1 (though they are still mutual to my knowledge). // Girl #1 and Girl #2 know each other, and Girl #1 has talked to me about her and stuff she’s heard, etc.
Predicament: If I admit my feelings to Girl #1 and ask her how she feels about me, that could hurt or halt what I have with Girl #2. It’s also entirely possible Girl #1 wouldn’t even like me back romantically or date me if I admit those feelings. // Girl #2 likes me and we have potential, and maybe stronger feelings will develop over time?
How do I go about this?
submitted by ReformedFate to dating [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 00:22 ReformedFate Girl I’ve been great friends with that I have suppressed feelings for VS. Wonderful girl that I’m already ‘talking’ to

[This is starting to really get to me and confuse me, feelings I’m not used to and am uncovering. I’m looking for a committed relationship/dating, I never hookup and am not wanting flings.]
Background: I’m 23m and a senior in college, I’ve had a very tame ‘young adult’ and dating experience: (1 long term gf, and dated maybe 5 girls between 1-3 months each). Most people describe me as kind, introverted (but confident/friendly), respectful, smart, a ‘good guy’.
Girl #1: I have this female friend of mine that I’ve known for 3.5 years and been really good friends with. We have the same values, beliefs, quite similar interests. She’s honestly the most amazing girl I’ve ever met. I care so much about her and feel something I’ve never felt before with any other girl, even ones I’ve dated. If you can imagine the most friendly, outgoing, kind, and heart warming person, that’s only some of how great I feel about her. // She’s a bit younger than me (4.5 years), so I’ve always kinda held back or suppressed my feelings and I’ve never wanted to hurt the friendship. She maybe has a good idea I like her, but I haven’t asked her to be my gf or anything.
Girl #2: Girl 2 I have known for 1.25 years and have only recently (2 months ago), started to get closer to her. I was told by mutual friends that she likes me and I have been fond of her as well. She’s conventionally more “attractive” and 1 year older than girl #1. We have started to get a little closer, and have been on 2 ‘date’ type things, with a 3rd in the planning. She’s such a great/wholesome person, but I haven’t known her as long and I fear the feelings may be weaker for her than girl #1 (though they are still mutual to my knowledge). // Girl #1 and Girl #2 know each other, and Girl #1 has talked to me about her and stuff she’s heard, etc.
Predicament: If I admit my feelings to Girl #1 and ask her how she feels about me, that could hurt or halt what I have with Girl #2. It’s also entirely possible Girl #1 wouldn’t even like me back romantically or date me if I admit those feelings. // Girl #2 likes me and we have potential, and maybe stronger feelings will develop over time?
How do I go about this?
submitted by ReformedFate to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 00:16 ReformedFate Great female friend I’ve had suppressed feelings for VS. Wonderful girl that’s interested in me

[This is starting to really get to me and confuse me, feelings I’m not used to and am uncovering. I’m looking for a committed relationship/dating, I never hookup and am not wanting flings.]
Background: I’m 23m and a senior in college, I’ve had a very tame ‘young adult’ and dating experience: (1 long term gf, and dated maybe 5 girls between 1-3 months each). Most people describe me as kind, introverted (but confident/friendly), respectful, smart, a ‘good guy’.
Girl #1: I have this female friend of mine that I’ve known for 3.5 years and been really good friends with. We have the same values, beliefs, quite similar interests. She’s honestly the most amazing girl I’ve ever met. I care so much about her and feel something I’ve never felt before with any other girl, even ones I’ve dated. If you can imagine the most friendly, outgoing, kind, and heart warming person, that’s only some of how great I feel about her. // She’s a bit younger than me (4.5 years), so I’ve always kinda held back or suppressed my feelings and I’ve never wanted to hurt the friendship. She maybe has a good idea I like her, but I haven’t asked her to be my gf or anything.
Girl #2: Girl 2 I have known for 1.25 years and have only recently (2 months ago), started to get closer to her. I was told by mutual friends that she likes me and I have been fond of her as well. She’s conventionally more “attractive” and 1 year older than girl #1. We have started to get a little closer, and have been on 2 ‘date’ type things, with a 3rd in the planning. She’s such a great/wholesome person, but I haven’t known her as long and I fear the feelings may be weaker for her than girl #1 (though they are still mutual to my knowledge). // Girl #1 and Girl #2 know each other, and Girl #1 has talked to me about her and stuff she’s heard, etc.
Predicament: If I admit my feelings to Girl #1 and ask her how she feels about me, that could hurt or halt what I have with Girl #2. It’s also entirely possible Girl #1 wouldn’t even like me back romantically or date me if I admit those feelings. // Girl #2 likes me and we have potential, and maybe stronger feelings will develop over time?
How do I go about this?
submitted by ReformedFate to askwomenadvice [link] [comments]


2020.10.25 05:47 saimla No one is perfect but when do you know if it’s time to break up with your bipolar SO?

I (30F) have been dating my boyfriend (34M) for 6 years and I am having trouble deciding if I should stay any longer to continue to fix our relationship or just move on with my life.
The Bad: His mini episodes and spoiled child behavior have been an ongoing problem. He always plays victim and never takes an accountability with everyone including me, family and even strangers. I’ll be in the kitchen first, and he will come in for something and demand me to move because ‘I’m in his way’...If something goes wrong, like he can’t figure out how to open a door at an AirBNB, he will throw a tantrum and start kicking the door and yelling at the host, even though it would his fault for not reading the directions. He is a major hypocrite and never treats people the way he expects others to treat him. He has flipped out on people if they are too close behind him on a line but he will stand close to people that are in front of him during this pandemic. I’ve become super embarrassed of his ‘Karen-like’ behavior in public and feel like I constantly have to apologize to other for him. He has gone to therapy for his anger issues for over an year , which it was confirmed he is bipolar (common in his family) but honestly I have seen no improvement and he stopped going since he lost his job & insurance. We always talk about improving our communication but if I show a hint of emotion - he gets mad and gaslights into me “overreacting.” So I’ve just stopped telling him how I feel - which I know isn’t healthy but this has been a 6 year battle that I could never win.
The Good: He loves me a lot and I know for 100% he will always be faithful. We moved in together a couple of years ago which includes my senior cat. I don’t have a car and the area we moved in is quite suburban (I came from a city background) so a car is must-have. Thus, he does all the driving for groceries, errands and has been an amazing step-dad to my cat. He helps clean up after her and will immediately drive her to the vet since she does have a lot of health issues, and will even offer to help pay some of the vet bills and he never complains about it. He has said she has become his therapy pet whenever he feels stress, so he does want to change. We do have a lot of fun together and it’s never a dull adventure which makes him an amazing partner. While he has tantrums and can be very rude, he is also sweet at the same time - he still pulls out the chair for me when eating and will help hold doors for old lady’s when we are passing by stores in the street and he sees them coming out. When we do fight, he does apologize afterwards although I don’t think he is actually apologizing about the fight but rather so we can stop fighting.
The Dilemma: We have been together for a very long time and I always thought we would be married and owned property by now. But we are NO where close this as he is very bad with his finances and I’m the only one working to save up. I know everyone is on a different timeline but this is not something I want for myself by this age and feel he has held me back In life a lot. With his bipolar and anger issues, this is something I have been struggling with a lot lately as I’m thinking about my future especially that I just turned 30 - I don’t want to deal with this for rest of my life or have my future children carry this behavior. However, I do have the “but I love him” predicament and worry about throwing our 6 year history.
Every relationship and marriage is never easy nor prefect, and takes work but how do you know when it’s time to let go? Or is it best to work it out and accept other’s flaws?
submitted by saimla to BipolarSOs [link] [comments]


2020.10.25 05:07 anon-throwaway69420 26 year old male, no relationship experience

Like the title says, I am a 26 year old heterosexual male who has had no romantic or sexual experience whatsoever. I consider myself a late bloomer, and throughout high school never developed any real romantic attraction towards any of my peers. I found casual sex instinctively repulsive for some reason, and resolved instead to wait until I was mature to develop a more meaningful relationship. It was not until halfway through my undergraduate studies that I actually met someone I was attracted to, though she was of course already seeing someone. I figured I'd engage anyways, and over the next several years we saw each other frequently both one-on-one and through a shared student group. I became quite infatuated with her, and was of course extremely disappointed and heartbroken when the eventual realization came that there would be nothing more than friendship between us. In the more than two years since I last saw her I've completely lost interest in the opposite sex and have essentially been living life on autopilot without any real desires or emotion.
I feel like I'm too old now to delve into this aspect of life and that I have missed out on a fundamental part of the human experience. I'm actually fairly attractive and have had women make passes at me, but I simply have no sincere interest any more. In terms of professional attainment and other aspects of my social life I'm fairly functional (or at least as functional as can be given the current state of the world) but I feel completely depleted and have lost any real drive or passion. I don't believe in suicide but don't see the point in living the rest of my life like a robot.
I'm looking both for practical advice regarding dating and romance given my predicament but also general reactions to or impressions of my situation. I can provide more details about any of the above if anyone is curious.
submitted by anon-throwaway69420 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.10.25 02:48 granthinton Death’s Inkwell

To understand the value of an hour, one must first cherish its passing, and what more profound a way than the slow inevitable tick of minutes to measure the descent of your demise. To understand why I cherish this hour above all else, I must first take you back to a time when the frailty of my lineage was no more than a figment of chance marked on Death’s chalkboard.
I, Slivan, am the last of a tragically line of accursed men whose span has, parenthetically, lasted until now. My parents I never knew. My mother died during childbirth, a disease of that birth stole her from my life. My father, similarly stolen, died later that very year at the age of twenty-eight by a drunkard with a gun. He was never caught, and as such, his demise never saw justice.
My care and education were left to a relic of a man, I came to know only as Hakaz. Hakaz’s birthplace was unknown to me, but I judged it to be possible middle eastern by his ebony skin, and dark eyes. At his strong but supple hands, and his will as hard as the cane that bore his weight, he took me to a distant land. There, I resided, learning by those leathery hands the ancient language of the alchemists, for Hakaz, himself, a highly learned man, sort power over Death
Hakaz’s estate sat within the depths of a valley where light refrained to venture. A rank, primordial forest whom’s evil vines and creeping plants crawled amidst the damp stone walls of my dwelling. Manned by many a whispering servant was I tended. I do not remember my wet nurse or of anything of my early years, those were told to me and have formed a somewhat fragmented dream-like reality.
Hakaz’s tutelage started the moment I could talk, and I spent in darkened rooms, hours, absorbing tombs and scripts. The ancient papyrus of Egypt, scrolls of Arabic scholars, and tomes of English gentlemen, preserved from time and light by thin sheets of virgin paper, lent to my obsession with the occult. An infatuation of my mentors that bled over to my young susceptible mind.
I procured a thirst for the arcane and occult so insatiable that it was many years into my teens until I became aware of the females that inhabited my stone prison. Then it was, by the tongue and bosom of an equally aged girl called Frida, that I learnt of my families curse.
My lineage was never spoken of to me before, or within the whispers of the other servants, although I saw it in their eyes, and when I pushed my mentor too far to hear of my ancestors, pain forced me to stand and lay awkwardly for a few days. I let the questions fade from my mind, and allowed the symbols and science of his teaching to fill my adolescent brain.
I know now that his real object was to keep my ears from learning the dread curse upon my family name, but I had already learnt it and so sort to correct the impending doom. Upon my twenty-first birthday, Hakaz handed me my legacy, a tarnished and stain parchment of the most startling nature, and its perusal confirmed the gravest of my apprehensions.
My bloodline and those that had all died before the age of twenty-eight was within this despicable document, line after line of blackened ink carrying the weight of the curse, that I realised something stalked my ancient bloodline eradicating each of the males.
I delved more into the arcane than ever before, science could not answer my questions and so I thought that the occult could. Time’s irrevocable hand swept the sun and moon on their heavenly journey bringing my fate closer.
One night, when my studies with Hakaz had finished, for in truth his pursuit for something he said was nearing his reach never ceased, I took to walking the streets outside his estate. The cobbles below my feet dragged by in the failing gloom of the moon's light until I found myself outside a dilapidated shop.
Beyond the dark gloom of the morbid interior, a single candle burnt on a desk enticing me inside. The smell of damp and parchment greeted me like an old friend, one who never left but just stepped outside. A man, withered like the leather-bound books in abundance around him, glanced at my approach. Without a word, knowing something beyond the realm of mortal men, he stood on crooked legs and searched the tomes in a carved out hole within the stone walls to his right.
I, without a backward glance, came toward the desk where his ink-stained a new leather book the colour of crimson fire. I did not know the language despite my studies, but I did know the symbols of an alchemist. The man returned with a single volume cradled in the crook of his armpit.
“This is what you seek.” Without further a word he turned back to his task.
I, faltering only briefly, for want of asking questions but knowing that he would not speak again, exited back to the dark streets.
In my chambers, I perused the text, the writer’s crimson ink suggested that of the withered old man’s hand, but the dates surpassed one of his age back a few hundred years. At this time, my studies had deep-seated me in my belief in the supernatural, else I would have shunned with malice the incredible narrative unfolding before my eyes.
The pages carried me back to the days of the Persian empire, and an ancient man named as Zakah whom repute was terrible with the secrets of black magic and alchemy. He had studied beyond the custom of our kind, seeking the supernatural remedies to life’s aviation, such as the Philosopher’s Stone, or the Elixir of Eternal Life, or even grosser still, Death’s own cloak. One, legend said was to exist and give dominion over the entity.
Zahak, by the surname of Daeva, studied from ancient texts and learnt of a secret passage to the dread abode of a race of monsters whose were inured under a lost city, one sunken by the treachery of man and time.
At the mouth of a black cave, weathered and fractured by generations of water and sand, he, Zahak, entered, neither turning back nor pondering, was such his desire. Under the cloak of his alchemy, the monsters slumber he did not disturb for fear of retribution, the ancient man transverse the cave. Excavated back into the rock, a structure wholeheartedly invisible and radiating maleficent intent appeared before him. The door, a ponderous and forbidding slab of onyx, hung upon rusted iron hinges.
The winged beasts and horrors that had plagued mankind from the beginning of time, awoke and regarded Zahak with equal measures of hatred and surprise at his tenacity to stand before their master’s sanctum. Zahak, seeing this hoard of beasts awaken, ran to the dread portal, and squeezed his body through a crack at the foot of the giant door to escape the wrath of the vengeful daemons.
His senses, intoxicated with the suffocating and cloying scent of moss, damp rivers of cascading milky walls and the subtly indefinable odours of the soil and rotten vegetation, pushed him onwards between the fissure of sharp rocks. A single candle, dancing a serpents dance to the scratch of quill and parchment, halo-ed between the jagged shards, lit a cave. Alone spectral of such vast magnitude it seemed shadows and mist sat hunched over a slab of ancient marble.
Zahak crept upon the fathomless being, his belief intact with every pristine fibre of absolution of the supernatural and demonic mysteries revealed.
Death, for that was whom it was, disappeared leaving behind his unfinished scroll. Zahak, upon seeing a chance to not only defy Death but become a master of him, stole through Death’s eternal abode. On the cusps of Death’s table, he stood dumbfounded, for he had stumbled on Death’s ledger. A timeless enormity of names ready to be harvested at one's demise. Using tools of his Alchemy, Zahak removed his name from the parchment. Not satisfied that Death wouldn’t find him, he procured glass vials and stole ink as void as midnight from the well of the slab. This, he surmised, would keep him alive well beyond his years, for not only would Death not know who Zahak was, but the ink, being of supernatural quality and longevity, would also extend his years.
I mused that Zahak had disappeared from Death’s chambers righteously, for the next story told of him again in another outlandish epic that I will save for another time. Instead, I flicked through the pages musing that maybe it was more of an order than a singular obsession to record the lineages and deeds of men.
I froze upon glancing at the back page where hitherto were names, some such that their duplicity echoed within my own legacy. Upon the bottom lines were two names, one I knew as my father’s, and below it still, further shocking me into a stupor, was my own, Silvan Daeva, that I dropped the tomb.
My fate, inevitable entwined with that of my curse, seemed to have been already recorded. I raced back to the dilapidated shop to find it gone. Not a mere chance of a misplaced foot, but simply and plainly vanished. Vexed that I was a scapegoat to a man which had dominion over the greatest of the gods, for he is terrible and just, I delved deeper than ever before into the ancient tomes at Hakaz’s disposal. I surmised that if Zahak could find Death’s door, one could find it again.
As I drew nearer the age of twenty-eight, with only one waxing moon between us, Hakaz, as happy as I’ve ever seen him, came to me to explain a most peculiar predicament. It seemed that Frida had, in stomach, feet, and heart, swollen beyond the point of deception and could no longer work at her station and that I was the cause.
It was with the illest repute, for I planned to end my accursed line with myself, that I sired a doomed offspring. Hakaz, however, after some time, did unburden me with this taxing information, for my mind was wrought with my impending doom, by offering to keep mother and child in-house.
Something about the exchange of his words caught me as repugnant, and I delved back in time to my stay at his estate. Was my daughter to be bound in the shackles of his servitude? Or might Hakaz raise up Frida from her lowly station? Curiously I spent nights pondering this, slowly forgetting about the curse, until the night when I knew my assassin would breach the stone walls and collect my ancestral debt.
I woke from our bed and laid bare feet on the floor. Frida, in the throes of a dream, murmured maternal things, as I stepped across the floor to my writing desk. I lit a candle with flint and steel, a breeze from the shut window did make the flame dance, as I opened the book and gazed upon a strike obliterating my name. Below in faint red fire, were the forms of indistinguishable words. A cold hand of the hottest fire, clasped my shoulder and dread coursed up my spine for I heard not a door open.
“If you so know the one who hides from me, your existence can continue.” The figure, shrouded in mist, spoke in a rumbling voice that chilled me through with its hollowness.
I shook my head, for I was duped by my wicked ancestor as much as Death himself to knowing the identity of this thief.
“Hakaz.”
I turned to see Frida, awake and staring into the abyss of Death’s eyes, lapsed into a stupor, such was her fright.
“Speak.”
Frida, compelled by his voice, clutched the bed sheet so violently that her hands stood white in the dim light. She explained that Hakaz had been the lord of his estate for many years, more than was natural for any man or woman, even with the ancient knowledge of the Alchemists.
“Tis not right, sir,” she grovelled.
“Say his name, to know his name is so he can not hide.” Death boomed.
My heart did swell for her abandonment of fear that she stood up to Death to save the soul of her husband, for that would be what I shall if the doomed curse was not on my head.
“Hakaz Vadea!” She shrieked.
“No,” I whispered, as sudden realisation dampened the edges of my fears with cold reason.
“Zahak Daeva, is the one you seek, but that name did die centuries ago, Hakaz Vadea is one and the same and that of who you seek.”
Death swirled like mist and disappeared, I sat panting as Frida came to my side. We heard the screams of one who could no longer hide through the stone walls of Hakaz’s ancient home. Such was his scream that I clamped my eyes and ears shut and did not open them again until it had stopped. When I did, with wonder so vast that is would dwarf Death himself, I witnessed the strike upon my name removed.
In the glowing light of the fortuitous sun, I ventured to Hazak’s chambers. Stacks of tomes, scroll and parchment that I had never known to exist plundered his room in a dismal light.
Curious oddities in glass jars and vials, that of which I had never seen in any botanical or anatomical drawing, or any such place, accompanied them on rows of high shelves.
Above a stack of discarded clothing, which I arkened to be Hazak’s, as I expected such was his howls that I still heard them ghosting in my ears, I saw the most peculiar of them all. Amidst the spine of an ancient Sumerian document, and one of equal repute of Egyptian lore sat a vial of the blackest night. It’s contents only just below that of its lip, I reached to inspect.
Was this the fabled Elixir stolen from Death’s Inkwell?
“Yes.” The hollow voice rumbled through me again like one whose acquaintance had already been met.
I stole around to see the mist swell and form into a void that sucked at my eyes and devoured all light.
“A reward for the one I have search aeons for. I will come for you when it is depleted.” With that,
Death vanished.
Today, this hour is my two-hundredth and first birthday. My lineage is long and without curse, and I greet each hour with the same fragility that I once saw it as. Of the Elixir, I have some still, l to see my affairs in order. But this tale is to remind you of your own frailty, because, each hour is a gift from one who can take it away as easily as you can squander it.
submitted by granthinton to TheCrypticCompendium [link] [comments]


2020.10.24 23:10 anonymous_13243 Please help me figure this out.

I am a 19(f) year old bisexual. I know i am bisexual. I have liked girls. Ive wanted to date girls. Currently I am with my boyfriend of 9 months and i am so in love. He is in love. We are so happy. We have an apartment! A cat! And im scared im ruining it. I need help. We talk all the time about how we are gunna get married and live with each other and this and that. I am a bisexual girl. And i have never dated a girl. Ive never gotten to. When i moved to college across the country i said im gunna do it! Im gunna date a girl!! Find out how i feel about it! And yknow finally get some closure on my sexuality. But then i met him. And it was amazing. We fell in love!! And we are doing great!! But ive never dated a girl. And now... i am having like this weird mental block?? I keep thinking about what he said. He keeps saying “Im sorry that you will never get to date a girl” and hes a sweetheart he doesn’t mean it in any sarcasm what so ever. He is genuinely sorry and I know that. But It keeps going through my head. Like. Im 19. I feel like i have all the time in the world! But do i??? What do i do?? I said to him “we cant predict the future. What happens happens” Cuz like you cant! Who knows what happens! But i think im starting to scare him and I dont know what to do. I wish i got to date a girl before i met him so i wasnt in this predicament. Im scared. And i feel guilty for even thinking about this because I do love him!!! I know that!! I really really do! Someone please give me advice on what to do.
submitted by anonymous_13243 to bisexual [link] [comments]


2020.10.24 18:43 Exciting-Soil6495 My BF(20M) has anxiety and his tendencies hurt me(20F) too

Hi everyone,
This is my first post on here and I feel so weirdly sneaky coming on here and making a throwaway because I am just that desperate right now lol.
Anyways, my boyfriend of 3 years has anxiety about many things in life, but mainly because we're in college right now and his workload is intense, school is at the forefront of these feelings. He is constantly scrambling (when I say scrambling I genuinely mean his tendencies are sometimes very squirrely for lack of a better word), stressed out at his workload, doesn't plan ahead or organize his weeks because that gives him anxiety, creating a cycle where not planning results in more anxiety and well... You get the point. He severely struggles with organization and planning and I haven't had an actual problem with that because he makes our relationship more spontaneous and fun by not planning everything down to the T like me.
BTW, just for context, this man loves me to death, would do anything for me, and I want to grow old with him. That's why I am trying to fix this problem rather than saying screw his anxiety and screw my sad feelings.
He often spends the entire day doing some form of work, whether it's school or his job through school because if he doesn't spend the entire day feeling productive, he feels worthless. His words, not mine. He physically cannot simply relax throughout the day and his only breaks are showers, lunch, and hanging out with me and sometimes friends.
Every time I suggest the idea of us doing something in the middle of the day like grabbing lunch or seeing each other for a bit, I really dislike how much effort has to go in to figuring out if it's a viable option or not because it falls smack dab in the middle of his "very important work day" aka everyday because he feels like shit if he's not always working. Therefore, there is never a day that is a "really great day" for us to just hang in the middle. But, because I respect him and his life so much, I accept our night dates at the end of his workday and I accept that sometimes when I call him in the middle of the day and he tells me that he's extremely busy and can't talk because I KNOW that it doesn't mean he doesn't love me, he is just a very peculiar boy lol. I am just nothing like this and I know this isn't the classic example of a classic relationship.
When we shower together(not sexually) after I spend the night, the moment we get out, he IMMEDIATELY wants to start his work and sit at his desk, because like I mentioned above, his showers are his only break time before the day "HAS to get started bc he has lots to do". I know he has lots to do, and he never kicks me out in a rude way. I can't help but feel hurt and I hate that my initial reaction is to be sad that it can't just be RELAXED for a few minutes before I myself suggest that I leave because I know he's a busy man and I want to go back to my apartment too to do my own stuff. I have communicated with him that his tendencies to jump at the opportunity to work when I'm still at his place kind of makes me feel sad and his response is basically saying "I know and I hate that it hurts you but I get extremely stressed if I don't start on my work". I leave his apartment feeling like the night was great because he put his work away but the next day always sucks. Legit when I hear that shower turn on if I'm still in bed I start to get sad because I know how "on the move" he's gonna be the moment he gets out.
And yes, I have talked to him about this and in the sweetest way possible he always tells me that this is how he lives his life and how he LIKES to live his life, and that hurts the most because I truly want him to do what he wants to.
So, the predicament is that I feel for how stressed he is perpetually and I realize it's probably part of undiagnosed anxiety, but I can't help my feelings. I don't want it to turn to resent. I am a really independent woman, so I was shocked when I figured out that when I leave his apartment sad sometimes its because his anxious tendencies make me feel... left behind? unsatisfied? just weird idfk what the word is.
I am unsure of anything left to do, what I practice everyday is to remind myself how this is simply him and I can't impede on his life because of the way he deals with his anxiety. And I remind myself of the ways that he loves me and would do anything for me and how these instances are totally separate from those things. The question here isn't about me thinking that he loves me any less, it's about avoiding my instinctual feelings of feeling abandoned slightly?
If you guys could please help me figure out if there's anything I can do, I would greatly appreciate that. Either anything new or what I mentioned in the last paragraph. Also, if you read this entire thing I am sending you so many good vibes and I appreciate that so much.
TLDR bc this shit is long asf: my boyfriend is chronically stressed about school and I'm in a cycle of reacting negatively to that.
submitted by Exciting-Soil6495 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]