Trans partner

mypartneristrans

2011.10.27 07:27 Violetsmile mypartneristrans

This is a community designed to offer a safe space and supportive environment for the significant others of transgender persons (regardless of your own gender identity). With this in mind, we have a few guidelines for posting threads and comments to this forum. Please read the rules before posting.
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2012.06.16 22:19 A Safe Haven for MAAB Transgender People

A subreddit devoted to transgender issues pertaining to male-to-female or MAAB people. If you have an article you like, or a worry to talk about, or you just want to vent a bit about trans life, then we're here!
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2012.05.25 02:51 tunasushi fighting the oppression since 2028

Parody subreddit for trans people, mocking all transgender-related topics. If you take this seriously, then don't. Please read the stickied posts and subreddit rules before participating.
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2020.10.27 12:14 SnivelingDagoClown Vent. Being really close to starting HRT but feeling doubtful again.

I know it's full of advise seeking posts from people asking for red flags and such so I won't ask for that. I just really need to vent.
I've had dysphoria since I can remember, maybe 4 or 5 years old. I hate people seeing me as a woman. I hate being called she and being called my name. I hate being grouped with women. I've been thinking about transitioning since I was around 12 (I'm 23 now).
Since I could choose my clothing I always dressed as male. At 17 I cut my hair short and started passing to 90 % of people I didn't know. Passing feels great. Not passing feels like shite. When New professors first meet me they always think I'm a man, the moment I have to tell them my real name and 'come out' I feel like crap.
Its really hard to imagine living the rest of my life as a woman. Being a grandma. Being a female doctor. For some reason, being a mother doesn't feel that bad. I want to have bio kids, though I'd like to avoid a pregnancy at any cost. I don't know if I'll ever have money for surrogacy.
I hate my breast. I spend 20 minutes every day choosing my clothes trying to avoid making my chests and hips visible. I hate menstruation. But I don't really hate the rest of my body. I like my smooth skin. I wouldn't mind being hairless for the rest of my life if I still read as male.
But the point is, I néed to be seen as a man. Whenever I'm having doubts I think 'perhaps I don't need to do all this and maybe I could tolerate living as a woman for the rest of my life' but then I go out to the street and slouch my shoulders to hide my breatss and HATE summer because I have to wear T shirts and they show nonetheless and the moment someone says she I want to die.
I already came out to most people and I will probably start HRT the next month. I also started my name change though its halted because of the pandemic. I've been waiting so long for all of this and I'm desperate to start. But now I'm starting to feel doubts again. I always doubt a out everything. I haven't had any sort of trauma sexual or not, I don't have any mental illness except for some mild OCD during my teens but I'm naturally very anxious. So Ive spent the last day looking at detrans and actualdetrans posts seeing if anyone felt like me but it's not helping at all and I'm just feeling like crap.
I keep thinking about the possible side effects of T. I'm scared of atrophy, of feeling disgusting, of never finding a partner. I don't think I want to take hormones for 40 years. Of having that stone on my shoe for the rest of my life. But at the same time I know if I never do this I'll regret it for the rest of my life.
Sorry about all this. I thought I'd post it in /FTM but I'm sure ill just get a bunch of 'omggg why are you doubting??? You're soooo trans just go with it'.
submitted by SnivelingDagoClown to actual_detrans [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 09:35 RinSnowMew Transgender partner

Hey everyone, I'm a trans partner (mtf) who was curious if anyone knows the limits of the healthcare stuff when it comes to the more "cosmetic" parts of trans health? I am really trying to get to a point of passing and there's a couple things I would def need to get changed heh.
submitted by RinSnowMew to starbucks [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 09:31 Xeil_ Personal symptoms with all details

Body part: Genitals (specifically the penis head 2 bumps, and where the penis head connects to the shaft on the right side a lesion) Last sexual experience: 8 days ago from posting. What happened: was with Trans female, was receiving oral sex no protection when pain was felt in exact location of where lesion would be noticed later. Oral sex was still done to ejaculation where penis was then cleaned via baby wipe but not cleaned via shower until next morning. No other acts were performed. I though pain was due to being cut by a tooth or roof of mouth since pain happened during a fast and rough head movement at an awkward angle. Quick self exam in poor lighting afterwards saw no problems. Am unsure if this is pre-existing symptom only noticed through sexual activity at that moment. But previous partner to this was 1 and a half weeks prior with 0 symptoms. And was confirmed with tests to be chlamydia, gonareaha, and tric vac negative but did not do full testing for any other std/sti. Initial Symptoms were noticed 2 and 4 days after sexual experience. Symptoms: on the penis head 2 red bumps not next to each other, one left side one right side. Not raised high, but just enough to feel that a bumb is there. No liquid, no pain or itch. No more have appeared yet, just the 2 bumps and no sensations associated with them at all. Small but clearly visible looking directly at. Appeared 4 days after sexual experience. When it comes to the penis head connecting to the shaft, its like a red lesion that was bright red when found 2 days afterward but here on day 8 is still here but has now become more flesh colored, its usually wet. Watery substance and smells. Day 6 after it spread but VERY little. Barley noticeable but when strained and isolated is there. This smaller lesion right next to original one. Now on day 8 smaller one is either gone or so flesh toned I cant see it anymore due to not seeing it wet like the original. It was itchy and slightly painful when touched. A 5/10 on pain 5/10 on itchy and was not constant but the pain and itch would come and go every couple of 4-6 hours for the first 2 days of having it. Now that I've had this for 6 days(8th day after sexual experience) Pain has subsided now to a 1/10.The itch still at a 2 or 3 out of 10 and these are only felt once a day. No discomforts while peeing at any point or any increased frequency to pee. Non-visible symptoms: couldn't tell since I have old sports injuries giving back, hip and leg pains anyway. This is as much as I think I can say if any questions or things were missed out please don't hesitate to ask, I appreciate any and all information or comments. Testing date is set just due to covid19 it just isn't able to happen for a couple of weeks yet. I'm not sure how to attach pictures so if some are needed ill try to attach them (edited for spelling)
submitted by Xeil_ to Herpes [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 09:17 throwra98g My (22M) Partner (22T), who I've been in a relationship with for 6 years wants to end our 1 month of marriage and I don't know if the relationship will last.

Apologies for any bad formatting. I'm on mobile and a bit distraught.
My partner, who we'll call x for simplicity, and I have recently gotten into an argument. Neither of us were in the right or wrong as far as I'm concerned. It started over me taking a joke poorly and ended with a conversation about our relationship. In which several things were brought up.
They still feel scared of some things I said many years ago in regards to hurting myself. I was in a very bad place at that time but I'm not blind to it. I was being emotionally manipulative. They've brought it up a couple times since but haven't for years so I genuinely thought it was something we'd moved past. I was wrong as they told me they were still afraid.
Next up is the marriage issue. We've been trying to get a place together but are relatively low income (Barely above minimum wage in the rural south) so getting someplace has been difficult. The main reason? We've been applying as two single people instead of a married couple. We discussed how that was a likely culprite in keeping us from securing a place. As any place designed for low income persons would not be giving priority to two single people compared to a dual income relationship. X was open about some problems with how they view marriage. Being trans in the rural south obviously has stigma and I simply can't know how badly that effects it. However after some talking they seemed to be just as for it.
That wasn't the case apparently. X told me that they were more or less faking acceptance of the idea, hoping that the benefits would outweigh the feeling of marriage being "wrong" and like coming me "owning" them. I get how that could be a fear but they earn more money than me, weren't going to take my last name, and weren't being shackled with any of my debt. Conversely, I was agreeing to take on a healthy amount of their student debt.
I don't know what to do. I can clearly see that I was the cause of the underlying problem, and don't want to manipulate them. To continue to be in a relationship at all I'd want therapy but neither of us can afford it anyhow let alone with covid adding to it. Both of our families are well aware of our marriage by this point though so I'm not sure I'd be comfortable continuing to be a couple after that seperation, even as an anullment or no contest divorce. I'm just not sure what to do and don't have anyone to turn to.
submitted by throwra98g to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 08:48 Carrie749 If you've been with your partner since before he/she transitioned, did your trans partner lose sexual and/or romantic desire for you before/during/after their transition? or did she/he want to break up with you after she/he decided they want to change their gender?

I am a straight female only interested in men. My boyfriend and I met as a straight couple.
A few months ago, my boyfriend noticed that he feels uncomfortable as a guy and that he wants to change his gender. It was hard for me to accept that fact given that I was not bisexual, but I decided to stay with her and support her transition because I liked her for who she is.
At the beginning (maybe in the first 1-2 months after she came out to me) she was saying she wants to keep dating with me as long as I am fine with her transition, but later on she suddenly said she wants to break up because she lost romantic and sexual feelings for me (although she still likes me and cares about me). She said she lost them not only for me but for everyone in general and she basically has no sexual or romantic desire at all to anybody, and that she doesn't feel like dating anybody. She said that she has not masturbated for months now (nor fantasized about women nor men). She also mentioned she is confused in general about her sexual identity, her life, or who she is (and that she doesn't feel lovable). She was bisexual (more interested in women) from the beginning, and her preference to women has not changed even after her transition, so it's not like she lost interest in women. We are still interacting normally as we used to and our relationship (trust/bonding) has not changed, except that her desire is just gone.
Because of these events, I wanted to ask if anyone has experienced similar things with trans partner losing both or one of romantic and sexual desire before/during/after their transition (or if you have heard of such cases). I am curious to know how common that is. I am also curious why that kind of change happens.
submitted by Carrie749 to mypartneristrans [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 08:06 Jakabdullah Karabakh war threatens pipeline projects in the South Caucasus

Karabakh war threatens pipeline projects in the South Caucasus
https://preview.redd.it/o5uzlxmt6lv51.jpg?width=900&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3224f455e09ade2543208b3eb9fe861f7f6f2845
The Karabakh war could seriously undermine the positions of Azerbaijan and Turkey in the European energy market, access to which the countries gain through the TANAP gas pipeline launched at full capacity only at the end of 2019.
The hostilities, according to the state Azerbaijani company SOCAR, take place 60 km from the South Caucasus gas pipeline, through which gas from the Shah Deniz shelf field goes through Georgia to Turkey. Several times, shells have already fallen near critical gas targets.
Naturally, this causes dissatisfaction with Azerbaijan's partners on the other side of the Caspian - Kazakhstan and Turkmenistan, who intend to participate in the projects of the Trans-Caspian pipeline and TCOTS.
They are also dissatisfied in Georgia, which is connected with Azerbaijan by the unity of supplies to the Black Sea port of Supsa. Moreover, the Georgian side has experience of losing control over the pipelines: after the war in 2008, South Ossetia received a part of the oil pipeline to Supsa, passing through its territory.
Another source of gas supplies for Turkey is Iran. He is trying to take a large share in the Turkish energy market, but at the same time the Karabakh war is a powerful irritant for the Tehran elites.
A direct military threat to TANAP supplies unties Russia’s hands in negotiations on the fate of Turkish Stream and Blue Stream. Since the beginning of the year, Turkey has cut its purchases of pipeline gas from Russia by seven times, and then both gas pipelines were completely closed for repairs. At the same time, Ankara increased the volume of supplies from Azerbaijan.
Ahead of the upcoming talks next year on the fate of deliveries of 8 billion cubic meters of Russian gas to Turkey, President Recep Erdogan has already made it clear that he will persuade Gazprom to switch to spot (that is, more flexible) prices. However, the Turkish leader is unlikely to succeed in pushing the Russian gas company through.
Thus, Erdogan's military adventure could lead to a stop in transit through the TANAP gas pipeline, which will lead to a shortage of fuel in the European market and tensions in relations with Kazakhstan and Turkmenistan.
submitted by Jakabdullah to u/Jakabdullah [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 04:46 TheGreenInsurgent Libertarian cop in a libertarian society

I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.
“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”
“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”
“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”
The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”
“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”
“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”
He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”
I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.
“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.
“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.
“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”
It didn’t seem like they did.
“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”
Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.
I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.
“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.
Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.
“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.
I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”
He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.
“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”
“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.
“Because I was afraid.”
“Afraid?”
“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”
I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.
“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”
He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me for arresting him.
submitted by TheGreenInsurgent to copypasta [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 03:47 Idontlikethisplease Trans partner and poly stuff

Hey, newbie here, is anyone else here poly? Is this an appropriate space to ask advice about NSFW questions? I can be vague, but I also don't want to bring up topics some people may feel uncomfortable seeing in this thread.
submitted by Idontlikethisplease to mypartneristrans [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 01:42 redheadvillain Married to a man, but coming to the realization I am bi

I married the man who was my first ever serious relationship, first sexual partner, first almost everything. We got together when I was 18 and he's been it ever since. I was raised in a very conservative home where not-so-nice things were said about gay/bi/trans individuals. I vividly remember my dad making my mom stop watching the Rosie O Donnell talk show when she came out. It has taken me until my 30s to realize I am attracted to women. I find myself looking at photos of mostly women when I want to get turned on. Sex with my husband has never felt "right" but he is a great person who loves me SO much, and we have two beautiful children together. I dont want to end my relationship as I think it is best for my kids to have an intact family.... im just at a loss of what to do. Im feeling so sad at the possibility of never being able to explore these feelings without ending my relationship or cheating which I do not want to do. This is half venting half looking for advice. What do I do??
submitted by redheadvillain to bisexual [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 00:13 Most-Okay-Novelist Any Book suggestions with transmasc main characters?

So I'm stuck in quarantine for the next two weeks because my mother in law gave me and my partner covid. Anyone have any suggestions for books with trans men as the main characters? Bonus points if it's fantasy or scifi
submitted by Most-Okay-Novelist to ftm [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 00:06 Candid_Mantid Non-Binary and GNC

For a little background I am Non-Binary and Asexual (I have aesthetic and sensual attraction to Men/Women/Enbys but just can't imagine a scenario where I would want to use my genitals for sex or perform sex acts on a partner regardless of my genital configuration or theirs for that matter) I am also taking hormones of my opposite birth gender (I'm not telling you what my assigned gender is because I want to be thought of as ONLY Non-Binary not to be tagged as AFAB or AMAB). I absolutely HATE my birth body and would have likely put a bullet in my brain if it weren't for medical transitioning. I am also Native American and have a connection with some Two-Spirit people I know but I personally don't identify that way.
What I find concerning / want to vent about is that I see a lot of people who post to subs such as r slash Non-Binary and occupy trans spaces IRL that 1. Don't experience dysphoria 2. Don't seek and Medical transition 3. Treat being Non-Binary as wearing a sort of fun aesthetic or just wanting to cross dress without the stigma of "crossdressing". Now I don't think that these people are awful or anything but I do think that the Non-Binary term is being watered down by these people. A lot of them should be categorized as GNC AMAB or AFAB rather than Non-Binary. Especially the ones who do the whole He/them or She/them thing. The thing is that I think these people would be better served by the GNC descriptor rather than Non-Binary and it would be really great for the normalization and acceptance of GNC people rather than cramming everyone who bends any gender roles into the Non-Binary camp. Am I the only one who feels this way, or am I a gate-keeping monster? I wrote this like a stream of consciousness, I hope it's readable.
Note: I would never misgender someone regardless of dysphoria/no dysphoria GNC/Not-GNC or even using neo pronouns (Althrough I refuse to use "It" I won't dehumanize someone)
submitted by Candid_Mantid to truscum [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 23:13 rum-puppy Need help deciding if I should just start making content or not

I have an account set up but had and idea in mind for an aesthetic or persona but I’m running into a snag. I’m a trans girl and alt at that but I don’t want my trans ness to be my main selling point you know? So I had an idea to make a whole like demoness succubus persona around my account. I have ear prosthetics, fangs, and I have a mountain of “edgy” lingerie but I’ve been waiting on my horns to show up for OVER A MONTH now before I really started posting content. At this point my partners think I should just give up on the horns for the time being and just proceed but I feel like it may break the illusion.
What do y’all think?
submitted by rum-puppy to onlyfansadvice [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 22:31 Neutron_Alpaca I’m transgender but will never tell a soul

Obligatory sorry for any formatting issues from my phone. This is not my regular account but it’s also my first post ever so please be patient with me. I also posted this in trans, I hope that’s okay.
Today I became nearly certain that I was trans while researching how to tell if you were, which I’ve done numerous times before (go figure lol). There was a hypothetical posed in a video which could indicate some gender dysphoria tendencies: https://youtu.be/UciZPXfLAa0 . The question was “if you could press a button to become the other gender (including all primary and secondary sex characteristics) but it would be impossible to transition back, would you?”. After hearing this I broke down crying because I knew I would if I was given the opportunity one hundred percent of the time. But I was crying not just because I came to this key realization about myself but I cried because I realized I never will transition or even publicly tell people I’m trans.
For further context I’m a 22 year old college student who was assigned male at birth who grew up and is currently residing in the conservative southwest of the United States. Frankly I don’t think I’m very brave, I don’t think I have what it takes to realistically lose every friend I’ve ever made, become disowned by my family, and risk the perception of anyone who will be in a position of authority over me (boss/professor). I don’t know what to do, I’m grateful for finally addressing this aspect of myself but I also mourn the fact that I don’t think I can bring myself to do anything about it aside from telling maybe two people, my therapist and my girlfriend. In fact, I feel as though although my girlfriend will validate me completely, she also won’t really know how to handle it (which is completely understandable). I’m not looking for a guarantee that our relationship will work but I have a hard time with the concept of losing such a wonderful partner and possibly my friend. I feel like my parents and sister are a completely lost cause as well because they are all very conservative Christians. I also believe that most, if not all, of my friends that I made in my hometown or at the university I go to (it’s a private, christian university) won’t talk to me anymore. If anybody has any advice as to how to navigate this without losing everyone and everything I care about that would be great, because that feels like a non-starter for me.
TL,DR: almost certain I’m trans, but I don’t think I can ever publicly transition or come out because I’ll lose everyone and almost everything. Advice is welcomed.
submitted by Neutron_Alpaca to TransyTalk [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 22:12 Neutron_Alpaca I’m trans but I will never tell anyone

Obligatory sorry for any formatting issues from my phone. This is not my regular account but it’s also my first post ever so please be patient with me.
Today I became nearly certain that I was trans while researching how to tell if you were, which I’ve done numerous times before (go figure lol). There was a hypothetical posed in a video which could indicate some gender dysphoria tendencies: https://youtu.be/UciZPXfLAa0 . The question was “if you could press a button to become the other gender (including all primary and secondary sex characteristics) but it would be impossible to transition back, would you?”. After hearing this I broke down crying because I knew I would if I was given the opportunity one hundred percent of the time. But I was crying not just because I came to this key realization about myself but I cried because I realized I never will transition or even publicly tell people I’m trans.
For further context I’m a 22 year old college student who was assigned male at birth who grew up and is currently residing in the conservative southwest of the United States. Frankly I don’t think I’m very brave, I don’t think I have what it takes to realistically lose every friend I’ve ever made, become disowned by my family, and risk the perception of anyone who will be in a position of authority over me (boss/professor). I don’t know what to do, I’m grateful for finally addressing this aspect of myself but I also mourn the fact that I don’t think I can bring myself to do anything about it aside from telling maybe two people, my therapist and my girlfriend. In fact, I feel as though although my girlfriend will validate me completely, she also won’t really know how to handle it (which is completely understandable). I’m not looking for a guarantee that our relationship will work but I have a hard time with the concept of losing such a wonderful partner and possibly my friend. I feel like my parents and sister are a completely lost cause as well because they are all very conservative Christians. I also believe that most, if not all, of my friends that I made in my hometown or at the university I go to (it’s a private, christian university) won’t talk to me anymore. If anybody has any advice as to how to navigate this without losing everyone and everything I care about that would be great, because that feels like a non-starter for me.
TL,DR: almost certain I’m trans, but I don’t think I can ever publicly transition or come out because I’ll lose everyone and almost everything. Advice is welcomed.
Edit: I’m so sorry, I posted the wrong link.
submitted by Neutron_Alpaca to trans [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 21:46 BestFriendDoesntKnow I think my best friend is in love with me. How do I explain this to do them without ruining their current relationship?

My best friend (Who we’ll call Vie) and I (A non-binary person) have been best friends for five years. For these same five years, they’ve been in a long distance relationship a gender fluid person (Who’ll we’ll call Milk). Me and Vie love making dumb gay dick jokes, despite neither of us actually having those. So for a while, I assumed these talks we had where just us continuing this. Or that I was hoping for something that wasn’t there.
But, recently I haven’t been able to excuse their behavior. Vie and I have been making plans to move in together, and Vie has stated that we should get a one roomed apartment to save money. Fine, cool, I’m all for it. But then three state we should also share a bed, also to save money. Okay, that’s kinda weird, but Vie and I have had sleepovers where we snuggle all the time. I’m totally down, and don’t think too much about it despite the fact the Bro Duet is playing in my head very loudly.
A couple days later, I send Vie a photo of me that I was making fun of. I’ve got a skinny little waist, big hips, basically the typical body of a woman from a cartoon made by a man who doesn’t know what women look like. The rest of my friends I sent this to are quick to also jump on the bandwagon, making some dumb jokes about me looking like a DC comic book woman who can be snapped like a twig, which was hilarious because it’s true. But Vie says something pretty weird, that they wanna grab my waist and that I look really hot. This is WAY out of the “let me suck your dick about it” jokes we usually make. It kinda threw me for a loop.
I’ve also had pretty bad acne my whole life, and I was talking about how it makes me look pretty ugly, despite the rest of my body being pretty conventionally attractive. Vie is quick to say that they find people with acne attractive, I jokingly ask if that means they find me attractive. They say yes.
Vie and I also have opposite kinks, but exactly compatible. We talk about that a lot, and sometimes write some stories together with those kinks in them. They’ve commonly said to me that they were upset that Milk was pretty vanilla. Vie has a choking kink, and during one sleepover they asked me to choke them. Which I did, as I’m chill with helping my friend out. It didn’t really mean anything, and I knew that. So I didn’t really think anything about it
Recently, I’ve started a FWB relationship with my friend that we’ll call Vinnie, who’s a trans girl. I’ve told Vie about this, and jokingly asked them if they wanted to be our third. Vie went quiet. Picking up on this, I said that they actually could if they wanted to, as long as they asked Milk. Vie said that they would like to, but was a bit too scared to ask Milk.
Vie has also said that we would be having sex if they weren’t dating Milk
Okay, enough of the attraction shit, maybe they’re just horny for me, right? That’s kinda what I thought too until I remembered the way they kept talking about me all the time.
Vie and I talk everyday, and for several hours. A couple times just to fuck around we stayed on call for 24+ hours to just see if we could. It’s a pretty good confidence boost, because Vie doesn’t like talking to people for long periods of time, not even their boyfriend/girlfriend. In fact, they’ve often left playing games or talking with them to come hang out with me instead. I’ve always been in love with Vie, so it always made me feel like even though our relationship wasn’t romantic, I was just as important to Vie in a different way. I’ve always tried to be super supportive of Vie’s relationship with Milk, because as long as they were happy I was happy!
But the weird thing is about a year ago, Vie started saying they like hanging out with me more than Milk. Which made me feel really happy because it showed I was being a good friend! But they went into more detail saying that they felt safe and warm around me, and like that they could say anything they wanted around me, while they felt like they couldn’t be themself around Milk. This made me pretty sad, because Vie has struggled with horrible anxiety the whole time I’ve known them. The more we talked, the more I found out that they could only make certain jokes around me, they felt like they could be honest with their feelings, and that they could actually tell me things that were bothering them, while they felt like they couldn’t say anything to Milk.
I tried telling Vie that didn’t sound pretty healthy, and that they should talk to Milk because I know they care about Vie Just as much as me. They said they were scared of making them angry, which broke my heart as I’ve had abusive, non-romantic relationships before. They felt like they had to be soft and gentle around them but could be themself around me. I know full heartedly that if they told Milk this, they’d immediately change their behavior to make Vie feel more safe, but they just didn’t trust them enough.
Vie also talks about how much they wish that they were holding me, or that we were showing each other affection. They even describe it as yearning, which I thought was a joke. But Vie talks about how I’m a great cuddle partner and how they wish I was in their arms all the time. Which I also say all the time, because I, you know, love them. But I assumed it was platonic.
Vie and I are also fans of shipping, and I’ve compared us to some ships that we have before, usually ones that have one sided pining. But as of late, Vie has been comparing us to ships that we have all the time. I’ve always done this because I’m in love with them, so it’s throwing me for a loop that they are also doing this now.
Vie and I also have been making jokes as of late that we’re basically married. I’ve commonly said that I’d follow/move any where that Vie does, for obvious reasons. But lately, Vie has been returning these sentiments and making plans to include me in their life no matter what, which always involve us living together.
I’ve told Vie that they don’t actually have to do this, as I’m chronically ill and they would probably have to take care of me sometimes, which gets pretty tiring. They said that they want to take care of me and don’t care if I can’t work, that they’d provide for me no matter what.
TL:DR: My best friend likes me more than their significant other, wants to hold me all the time, wants to move in with me and share a bed, wants to have sex with me, and is willing to provide for me.
How do I have a conversation with them about this? Am I reading too into this, or do they actually have a crush on me?
submitted by BestFriendDoesntKnow to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 20:43 Antxotl Help my partner to identify who their are

Ok so, my romantic partner is confused about their gender, they are a female but it thinks that it is a boy, but at the same time, a 10% it thinks that its still a girl, its not like a trans or something, i am a pan and i really love them, so i just post here to know what gender can be truly define them (a female that see themself as most part of the time as a boy and still as a girl but in a small porcent)
submitted by Antxotl to lgbt [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 18:39 dtecounseling Therapist for Teens, Young Adults, Partners, and Families in NC—accepting clients for therapy and offering groups for trans/nonbinary teens & guardians!

Therapist for Teens, Young Adults, Partners, and Families in NC—accepting clients for therapy and offering groups for trans/nonbinary teens & guardians!
Hi everyone! My name is Adam and I am a counselor who offers tele-therapy to people in North Carolina. I didn't see any other recent posts like these in winstonsalem so my apologies if this is out of place. I just wanted to share information about my practice, since I serve people from across NC. If you're interested in learning more about my practice, feel free to read below or check out my website www.dtecounseling.com.
I primarily work with teens, young adults, partners (including polyamorous partners), and families, though I am open to working with anyone who thinks we would be a good fit.
My primary focus areas are:
  • Exploring and supporting identity development (racial identities, LGBTQ+ identities, etc)
  • Offering letters of support for gender transition
  • Developing healthy relationships
  • Navigating life changes and everyday stressors
  • Processing trauma
  • Improving communication
  • Understanding family dynamics
  • Resolving conflicts
At this time, I am not in-network with any insurance companies but I can offer help with out of network reimbursement (for clients with those benefits) and have some sliding scale spots too.
More info, including how to get started, can be found on my website at https://dtecounseling.com/
Also, I will be offering two process groups starting in November! One is for transgendenonbinary 14-16 year olds and the other is for guardians of transgendenonbinary teens (of any age). The flyers are below but more info, including how to register, can also be found at: https://dtecounseling.com/groups/

https://preview.redd.it/4h5k9vmx6hv51.png?width=1275&format=png&auto=webp&s=b4f4cf14298434f3a9b472eee5bbc46ebcefdbd6

https://preview.redd.it/hwlxigmy6hv51.png?width=1125&format=png&auto=webp&s=dbcd20be7f88ea8af8f598379607c4ffd090e39c
submitted by dtecounseling to winstonsalem [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 18:31 dtecounseling Therapist for Teens, Young Adults, Partners, and Families in NC—accepting clients for therapy and offering groups for trans/nonbinary teens & guardians!

Therapist for Teens, Young Adults, Partners, and Families in NC—accepting clients for therapy and offering groups for trans/nonbinary teens & guardians!
Hi everyone! My name is Adam and I am a counselor who offers tele-therapy to people in North Carolina. I primarily work with teens, young adults, partners (including polyamorous partners), and families, though I am open to working with anyone who thinks we would be a good fit.
My primary focus areas are:
  • Exploring and supporting identity development (racial identities, LGBTQ+ identities, etc)
  • Offering letters of support for gender transition
  • Developing healthy relationships
  • Navigating life changes and everyday stressors
  • Processing trauma
  • Improving communication
  • Understanding family dynamics
  • Resolving conflicts
At this time, I am not in-network with any insurance companies but I can offer help with out of network reimbursement (for clients with those benefits) and have some sliding scale spots too.
More info, including how to get started, can be found on my website at https://dtecounseling.com/
Also, I will be offering two process groups starting in November! One is for transgendenonbinary 14-16 year olds and the other is for guardians of transgendenonbinary teens (of any age). The flyers are below but more info, including how to register, can also be found at: https://dtecounseling.com/groups/

https://preview.redd.it/q836d7aj5hv51.png?width=1275&format=png&auto=webp&s=e8e1b23f8d514f7360bc70ebb024b194f87e9a62

https://preview.redd.it/sqzdwu4f5hv51.png?width=1125&format=png&auto=webp&s=adcf8d0d146c53a341ce4b910078e1e094bfa855
submitted by dtecounseling to Charlotte_NC [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 16:28 willowdawn93 My partner's sister outed to her to their emotional manipulate mother.

Before I begin, sorry it this is jumbled and long, last night was one of the worst nights of mine and my partners lives.
A few weeks ago my partner told her sister that she is trans. Her sister did not take it well (I made a post about this a while ago if this sounds familiar). My partner decided it would be best to tell her family through a letter, that way they could process it a bit before having a rough conversation since they are deeply religious. She forewarned her sister that she was sending the letter and in the letter she mentioned that her sister has known for a short amount of time and responded negatively. Her sister blew up because she "tells her parents everything" (except the fact that she has had a sex and Coke addiction growing up, while they still think she's "pure" with her purity ring, I'm not judging her at all, but she can't act all high and mighty just because she lives with her parents now, that's a post of its own 🤦‍♀️)
Anyways, my partners sister spitefully told their mom that there was something "wrong" with my partner. She did this knowing full well that their mom would call my partner to demand to know what was "wrong", and she also knew that she didn't technically break their promise.
When their mom called, she was already crying. We assumed that she had gotten the letter but it was too soon(she only sent the letter the day before and its a provice away). The mom kept listing all the things that she felt was wrong with my partner (the fact that her degree is taking longer, that's shes pulled away from the family, that she's not currently working etc) and After dancing around the subject for a while, my partner was forced to tell her the truth, to which point her mom lost her mind. She put the phone on speaker so I heard it all. She was saying shit like "but you are such a beautiful MAN, you just can't see it, I don't understand why you can't see it" "what about your relationship with God " "I know you, this isn't you" "I curse the day I gave you that computer, I can tell you the DAY you started to change" (my partner has been question her gender since she was 5, wayyyyyyy before she got the computer at 12) "Don't do anything permanent, we need to fully discuss this over Christmas break, promise me you won't!" "You can't possibly thing that 'williowdawn' will be okay with this" That last one my partner explained that I support her, and she responded with "and thats the problem". She already didn't like me because my partner and I live together before marriage so obviously I'm a heven. I knew that this would fall back on me, which is whatever, but actually hearing her say that hurt so much.
This has absolutely devastated me, and its not even my family or my transition, my heart is broken for my partner. When she was still lying to herself and everyone else, her and her family were insanely close, and now her mom didn't even say I love you back before getting off the phone. I'm trying everything I can to love and support her, I just wish I could make this better. This shit sucks.
submitted by willowdawn93 to mypartneristrans [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 16:28 flamex71 A positive GP experience

Just wanted to share my recent experience with my GP practice which was really positive!
I finally came to terms with and accepted my trans identity in June, and received a gender dysphoria diagnosis using GenderCare in late August. I have monthly contact with my GP for mental health reasons but never mentioned about my gender identity until after my GC appointment. The response from my GP was so kind. I was too anxious to tell her I’d received a private diagnosis or ask about shared care.
Well, after she received my report from GC she got in touch herself, and asked about when I needed to get my blood test. I couldn’t believe how supportive she was. I explained shared care, and prescribing testosterone once I had seen a GC endocrinologist, and she said all I needed to was remind her for the bloods closer to that appointment.
I also requested the admin team to change my name and gender on my patient records. Name was changed but couldn’t do gender as per what the GP partner had told them. I wrote to him explaining that we’re allowed to change gender. The practice manager had my records updated after this, apologised about their misunderstanding, and said they had passed on the information about this process to all receptionist staff!
I know a lot of you have had difficult experiences with GPs so I wanted to share this, there is hope and I wish more GPs did this!
P.S. there is one confusion, who should complete my GIC referral: my GP or my mental health team?
submitted by flamex71 to transgenderUK [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 14:58 UsagiVino Frustrated with situation

Hi all, new to this subreddit, this might be long but I'll try to keep it as brief as possible.

I (32F) have been with my husband (38M) since I was 18 and he was 22. We have a four year old child now. We met through mutual friends and dated for two years before getting married when I was 20. I had only a couple of sexual experiences with boyfriends at this point- I had sex numerous times, but only with like three people ever. I also knew I was openly bisexual and had dated a few girls but I had never had sex with another woman before. Our entire relationship, my husband has been supportive of my bisexuality and has never been bothered by my interest in other women. He has always said that he was ok with me having a sexual or even committed relationship with another woman, as long as it didn't take priority over my relationship with him. It was always clear that he would like to be involved but that it wasn't a requirement for him. Meaning if a girl liked just me, that was ok, but if she liked both of us, obviously that would be ideal. Maybe I have high standards or something but throughout the past decade I have never had a threesome or w/w sex despite being very interested in other women. It seemed like most girls I was strongly attracted to either were straight, already in committed relationships, or just not interested in being with someone who had a male partner at home. I've always just sort of been like, well, thems the breaks I guess. Occasionally I'll rejoin tinder or something to see if I happen to meet a girl but for the most part it just hasn't happened. And its not like I'm not cute, I get hit on all the time LOL. Anyway the point is that its always been understood that this is ok and doesn't bother my spouse. I have never felt jealous at the thought of having a threesome or even having another woman who was a "girlfriend" to both of us if that ever became a possibility with the right woman.

Cut to 2019 when I've noticed that my husband has an affinity for trans women. He watches a lot of porn with trans women, and told me that he just really finds the combination of genders and anatomy to basically be incredibly appealing. His ideal is a beautiful woman who happens to have a dick. He enjoys receiving anal sex, and I have never been open to receiving it, despite him wanting to. At first I was mildly unsure about this because I felt insecure. But he also came out that he thinks he might be polysexual, meaning he thinks he has an attraction to pretty much all genders, non-binary etc. That the only type he isn't implicitly attracted to is trans men, because he just isn't turned on by that. Now, I am bisexual but I just have a very hardwired binary attraction scale. I can't help it. I love & support trans people but trans women just (typically, I won't say never) get my motor running. So I told him that if he wanted to explore that side of himself, as long as he was safe, careful, and respectful that I was comfortable with him pursuing a trans woman or bisexual/gay man for a personal sexual relationship on his own. He travels often to neighboring states for work (I used to travel nearby for live music shows a lot) and we agreed that he would be able to pursue something if the opportunity occurred when he was away from home. Most of that rule just stems from the fact that we have very little free time or expendable income to just go out on dates with other people here at home while the other person sits at home with our kid. For example going out on a nice date night would be our whole "eating out" budget that paycheck so it seems like something that should be spent on *US* and not on one of us going out with someone else. We also don't get much personal time because of our schedules and our kid so it just seemed to make the most sense. On top of that, I think although we are both open to threesomes, we are a little weirded out by the thought of one of us just coming home fresh off getting fucked by someone else. Keeping it an out of town thing just seems the best way to handle it. He has downloaded tinder & we have both used Feel'd at this point, so far nothing has happened for him either. He has depression, anxiety and high stress levels combined with not being very outgoing (where as I am a ball of energy who will just go up and start talking to a cute girl etc). So I understand that a lot of this is set at his own pace. He's also experimenting more with his gender identity, wanting to wear skirts, gender neutral clothing, getting really into learning about make up, etc. So its been a bit of a drastic change but he just said the other night that he thinks he is happier now as a more "openly queer" person that he has ever felt before (raised in a strict conservative Christian household). I think I've been very understanding about everything although sometimes I have failed but I'm trying. He is also in therapy and on anti-depressant meds which have helped him a lot.

Ok. So, if you're still reading, here is the crux of my issue: Although we have discussed non-monogamy within strict parameters, the rules have been very set forward: For me, I am allowed to be with other women and thats it- the only male partner I could have would be a bisexual man in a threesome with both me and my spouse. Because I "have him" as "my male partner". He is allowed to have trans women and cis gay/bi men as his partners. Essentially because I don't have what they have and I want him to be able to explore his interest in those catagories. But let me emphasis here- THESE ARE *HIS* RULES. Its always been implied that neither one of us were permitted to take cis-straight-women (for him) or cis-straight-men (for me) as partners. I never set this rule down, he did. When I asked him how can he handle it if he's talking to a non-binary woman that he's attracted to who has a vagina if he would stop talking to her when he found out she is has a vagina. He basically said yes because thats "against the rules". I was skeptical because I said I feel like thats stupid. We are already saying sex with these people would not ruin or be a detriment to our private relationship. That they aren't a replacement for either of us for the other. So if its perfectly fine to have sex with a trans woman with a penis, why would having sex with a non binary person with a vagina be off limits? That doesn't make sense to me. Its still external marital sex regardless. If we are fucking other people, why does there need to be rules about what kind of genitals the other person can have?

It all boils down to this I think at the end of the day........he doesn't want ME to have sex with any other straight cis men. If we have a threesome with a bisexual man, thats something we are sharing together. But he doesn't want me to have sex with any men on my own without him. This feels incredibly frustrating for me. I just want to fuck hot people. Period. Men or women. I want to know that I can flirt with someone without having to go "Wait, are you bi? Do you think my husband is cute? ok we can flirt then." or "Do you have a vagina? Ok cool yeah we can fuck, if you had a penis we couldn't though". Now I do know that a lot of this stems from insecurity and the fact that *ELEVEN* years ago, the first year we were married, I got stationed overseas away from him for several months and I did cheat on him with a guy there. I confessed almost immediately and its been something that even *Last Year* he was still bringing up in hurt. We finally talked about it in depth about a year ago (I was depressed, scared, it was a whole mess, I was letting myself drink way too much, etc. I was 21. It was eleven freaking years ago. I have never cheated on him since then. The drama, pain, hurt of it etc would just never be worth the momentary pleasure). But I think it all stems from him feeling like he isn't "enough" for me. He wants to be the only man that I want to be with, and I think he's very much afraid that another man will be better in bed than him (our sex life is moderate). I don't think he thinks I will leave him for another guy. I think he just doesn't want me out hooking up with hot guys who are better in bed than him.

In conclusion, I feel very frustrated with the current situation. I think we should both be allowed to sleep with whomever we feel attracted to within the right settings of our perameters (for example next year if I'm out of town overnight at a show and meet someone there, or if he is out of town on a job site etc). I don't know how to explain to him that I feel like he has all the freedom he wants (because frankly, he doesn't *want* another cis straight woman partner- and the odds of us having a bisexual threesome with another woman are a lot higher than finding a bi male) he gets to have me, his wife, and any trans or queer person he may fall into attraction with. I feel like I'm the one being limited. I feel like I can't even say "Theres a cute boy at work" without him taking it the wrong way, even though he can go on about how hot a woman is because he knows I would think she was hot too. But if I thought a guy was cute its like, but are they bi? If not then oh well into the off limits box they go. This feels frustrating to me because I don't want to leave my husband. We have a family, a house, a child, a life together. I don't want to replace him any more than he wants to replace me. But I don't know how to get him to understand that I think its ok for us both to have any partner we desire when he is adamant that we are not allowed to have cis-straight-opposite-gender partners. I feel like I don't know how to make him see that I would just be enjoying the variety versus looking for something "better" than him.
I know this was incredibly long, I'm so sorry. I'm just looking for some guidance from others who have been in this situation before. Thanks so much for any advice and please be kind.
(Added for clarity- he is also attracted to cis men, but its a very limited scope of attraction and seems to have no rhyme or reason. Like one out of 100 guys he might go "yeah I think that one guy is hot" but that one guy could be completely different from the next guy has says he is attracted to, so its not even like a can gauge if he would like a guy or not because he seems to have no "type")
One last edit- although I genuinely do understand how it’s different, I also feel like it’s kind of insulting and hypocritical to basically view trans women as “different” from having sex with another woman just because of their genitals. Like if he was talking to a trans woman with a vagina, he would view that as the same as trying to sleep with a cis woman, but a trans woman with a penis falls into the “queer relationship” category. It feels like splitting hairs.
submitted by UsagiVino to nonmonogamy [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 11:51 roguewavesurfin does anyone love trans men?

these are really bad thoughts i get sometimes, but i do sometimes envy trans women and the attention they get. i'm not saying they shouldn't get attention (as long as it's respectful) and i know about the fetishization you all deal with. but fetishization is false love, and sometimes i feel like for me false love would be better than no love.
kat blaque once described fetishization of trans women as "having the best of both worlds." in my case, i feel like i have the worst: my boobs shrunk and i don't have a dick. i feel ugly.
i see really beautiful wholesome stories of trans women finding love, and i really am happy for them, it makes my heart melt. i would just like some of that happiness too. we can share in the wealth. (edit: wanna clarify i don't just mean irl trans women but fictional trans women in media as well, not many love stories out there about a transmasc character getting his happily ever after)
society doesn't have much love for men these days. so much so that i get branded with the worst male traits (horny, stupid, rude) without any of the positive ones (strong, capable, protective). this walking on eggshells gives me so much anxiety that i can't even talk about 'cause no one loves us. society also doesn't have enough love for women, but at least i see trans women finding love.
i think i look good enough for myself and i'll only keep getting better-looking as i keep taking T. but at one point i looked at myself in the mirror, saw what everyone else sees, a hairy girl with a raggedy-ass vagina, and thought, you know, you probably killed any chance at romance by doing this. and that's okay, because you feel good about yourself for once, and that's what counts. and i was fine for awhile until i saw my niece for the first time recently. i always wanted kids growing up and put that aside for other things. now i have full-blown baby fever that might never be realized.
saw a keychain on another sub that said: "i love you for who you are but that DICK sure is a bonus." and isn't that me as a trans man: a douchebag without the benefit of the dick.
ugh. sorry for the rant. had to vent this somewhere. i hope i didn't come off as transmisogynist in any way. i don't want trans women to be less loved or less visible, i'd just like some of that love and visbility.
edit: ok i wrote this at 5am and am reading over it again and wowie did i jump all over the place. i need my own personal reddit bouncer who kicks me off this site at a certain time when i start feeling the need to share stuff like this. i think i am coming to realize i never will be cis. this sounds totally "duh" but the denial and self-deception was real. and in realizing i'll never be cis i realized i'll never have that side of me to "show off," the way cis men will to their partners, be it thru looks or acts of strength/love/etc. i'll never have a "real penis," and for male attractiveness i feel like that's key (or maybe it isn't, i'm also struggling with mlm attraction and all that); i mean, women don't pull men into bed with the intent of having those sexy abs go in her hooha, they want something else in their hoohas and i don't have that. what do i have to give them in the bedroom?
submitted by roguewavesurfin to asktransgender [link] [comments]